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Look in the mirror

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justme1264 posted 3/26/2014 16:41 PM

This is to WS, BS, and WS who are working to R, and those who are running away...


Take a moment and look in the mirror. What do you see?

If you are a WS you may not even feel much or care. You may be too distracted with your current fix to even bother to see your real problems. But eventually your selfishness will run its course and you will either realize the person you see in front of the mirror can face the consequences of their actions or cannot - you will become a WS who fights to R or you will run and hide like the coward you are currently being. Wake up before it is too late and the damage you are doing gets worse.

If you are the BS, and in the early stages you may see nothing but pain, shame, hurt, regret, confusion, anger, resentment, disgust, and a endless list of emotions. Know you are in the right place. We are not alone. If I can do this, then you can do this. I remind myself, I am alive, I have been through worse, and I will be a better person for it. What you see in the mirror will eventually be the person everyone who loves you sees - a good, strong, loving person. Give it time and just keep surviving - whatever that may look like.

If you are a WS who is working your ass off to R you may see the hurt and pain you have caused your BS. You may not be entirely proud of what you see, but you are rebuilding what it means to be proud of what you see. You are on the path to healing and have heavy road ahead of you. You have more responsibility to your spouse's emotions and hurt than ever before. Your shoulders will get heavy with the burden and the time will come (probably many times) before the healing is done you will wonder, even doubt, if you can carry all this weight. Bare it and face your consequences for the sake of what you see in the mirror and the sake of your very happiness. Regardless of the outcome of your marriage continue to own your stuff and do whatever it takes to learn remorse. You will be a better human being the image you see before you in the mirror will once again be of dignity.

If you are a WS who is running from your marriage and your problems I unfortunately have no words which can reach you. You will eventually run out of energy and realize you are bleeding out. You will eventually die where you lay or you will get the help you need before it is too late and you pass out from your wounds.

Allornothing posted 3/26/2014 17:44 PM

Thank you justme, sometimes I need to be reminded that I have the strength to keep going. Today, I feel tired and flat (and slightly hung-over!), but reminders like this are so helpful.

Just what I needed on a rainy Autumn day Down Under!

pizzalover posted 3/27/2014 10:40 AM

If you are a WS who is working your ass off to R you may see the hurt and pain you have caused your BS. You may not be entirely proud of what you see, but you are rebuilding what it means to be proud of what you see. You are on the path to healing and have heavy road ahead of you. You have more responsibility to your spouse's emotions and hurt than ever before. Your shoulders will get heavy with the burden and the time will come (probably many times) before the healing is done you will wonder, even doubt, if you can carry all this weight. Bare it and face your consequences for the sake of what you see in the mirror and the sake of your very happiness. Regardless of the outcome of your marriage continue to own your stuff and do whatever it takes to learn remorse. You will be a better human being the image you see before you in the mirror will once again be of dignity.

^^^^ Thank you for this! It rings true to me.

norabird posted 3/27/2014 15:46 PM

What you see in the mirror will eventually be the person everyone who loves you sees - a good, strong, loving person.

Powerful. Thank you for the inspiring post!

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