Wood...
Not disagreeing... Same token though:
How many false R's (and even bad marriages) are about people lying about what they really want?
They want XYZ
They tell their spouse they want ABC
They tell the AP they want XYZ
Shocker that they feel "alive" with the person they tell the truth to
Or
Spouse wants ABC
AP want XYZ
Wayward tells spouse ABC, tells AP XYZ
Shocker... That they're never happy because they just tell people what they want to hear instead of either the truth, or finding out what they want themselves.
Clearly... An oversimplification
Especially as desires change as we grow and mature.
Ideally, people are up front and share as things change, so the couple can adapt and change together.
So often, in Wayward-Lamd, they fear those changes will end the marriage (or whatever), so they share with someone else. Instead of being a gradually changing person like everyone else, they pretend to be "normal" with their spouse, and are "new person" with others.
But... See my point?
Wanting more is a really normal/wanted/needed part of life.
Being aware of that, able to share that, able to respond to it, etc... That's part of they dynamics of a good working relationship with someone.
Wanting more doesn't HAVE to be sad.
It can be really exciting.
Grounding, synergistic, normal.
"More" = in addition to.
As opposed to "More" = No More / Completely different
That was my point in women's lib.
The argument against women's lib was that "more" meant no more happy families. Flushing everything that was for something completely different. That isn't / wasn't what happened. Educated working women still make good wives and mothers. Just like educated men make good husbands and fathers.
But there's a knee jerk reaction with a lot of people that "more" is a sad thing, that takes everything amazing and throws it in the garbage.
It DOES make things more complicated.
But it's not inherently good or bad.
How one handles it makes it good/bad.
Just my .02
CC
[This message edited by CheshCat at 2:35 AM, March 28th (Friday)]