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The truth will let your BS sleep! WS welcomed

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phoenixrise posted 3/27/2014 15:11 PM

Finding more women in the phone records pre A sent me over the edge I thought I was done but since WH is finally saying things out loud that he has never said before...he is answering questions...yes it freaking hurts but at least it's truth. There has been no contact with these OW. these new numbers were from before his A. I see these other texts and talking to OW as an affair he sees it as just talking and bullshitting. A married man has no business texting/talking with other women AT ALL I consider it cheating sex or not! I need to get him to admit that as he is still in denial.l have come to the realization that I still love him and it doesn't matter how many A's he has had or flirtatious texting/talking (he's sticking to only 1 sexual A but admits to multiple texts/talking with others before sexual A which I want to believe ...he claims he has nothing to hide at this point)I realize all I care about is the behavior stops and that he realizes how badly he royally screwed up...he says he sees now how his talking and texting with other women became worse to the point that something actually happened with one.He says he is disappointed in himself and deeply ashamed and that he will never get to say he was true to his wife...that means something. After he told me some truth I slept for the first time like I've never slept before...I even had happy dreams...not nightmares filled with anxiety or waking up crying...actual normal dreams! its pathetic that even him beginning to open up a little has sent me to jump for joy. when he actually answered me as honestly as he could when confronted with this new info it allowed me to take a breath and heal...he also answered more questions about his A in detail.Can you imagine a whole 6 mos later!I mean a wound has to ooze before healing but I was festering because of his inability to answer questions I needed answering to...questions that I needed answered initially in order to take the edge off...feel like a load of worry and anxiety has been lifted. For 6 months he's allowed me to fester. I also know that he may be still hiding more A's I mean I never will know the iron clad truth but that's the new smarter woman in me doubting his words...I just have accepted that he was screwing around on me with multiple women even though it may have just been texting...it's easier for me to digest...I mean cheating is cheating!!! I think that book how to help your spouse heal from your affair has saved us...he has taken leaps since reading it. He says he wants to discuss IC with marriage counselor at our next meeting...can't wait...I'm sorry but he NEEDS that shit!!As Tom Petty says love is a long long road and we still have a shitload of walking and ironing out to do together...but at least there is a little light and hope now.

guarded posted 3/28/2014 05:33 AM

You are soooo right. BtDT...did not sleep for five years due to lack of full truth and I can't remember crap. I am glad you are finally getting what you need.

phoenixrise posted 3/28/2014 11:35 AM

I don't know if it's another pack of lies that's why I am treating the previous women as sexual affairs, all I know is he is remorseful I can only hope with more MC and IC he will come to but I want to believe it was only text/ talking that got worse and worse until A...I guess to me it doesn't matter I already consider it cheating with or without the sex I mean he had a major issue either way that I'm willing to get past....still bothersome but now I know the extent and what he was capable of...thanks for the reply

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