"Another conversation killed awkwardly! Yes! Point to my side." - Chesh's Brother
You know.... I'm "only" in my 30s... But I've found, that if I want to have selection... I have to actively seek out groups of other people.
My friends & acquaintances are mostly married, young family... Or 20 something's I wouldn't touch with a 10' pole.
People in my personal range 40+ have lives.
They aren't all flocking together to soothe hormones and look for people to date.
So the only place one FINDS people are
- singles type places (be it OLD, or church events).
Meaning it takes active work on my part to even be exposed to single men in my age range, and even then, the selection is hit or miss.
I rather suspect a huuuuuuge reason there are so many marriages in people's 70s / retirement communities is purely because of the selection!!! One actually has a chance to be around a couple hundred people on a regular basis, and get to know them, and find 2-3 you don't hate. Not that they weren't looking 10 years earlier... But just because we enjoy XYZ activity,... It doesn't follow that the person we could fall in love with also enjoys XYZ. You know? So until our cohort group comes together, it's seriously luck of the draw.
DO think about activities you enjoy that might provide a nice cross selection (I feel like I'm talking about laboratory specimens, oy). But you know what I mean. If you enjoy 5 solitary activities, and 1 large group activity... Focus more time on the large group activity... or see if there are groups of people getting together to do the solitary activity. Better a cruise ship than pottery, and better a pottery studio with others than in your back she'd. Ditto, look to see how you can change your exposure. If you volunteer, better in a hospital full of people, than in a records room full of dust.
It still all boils down to luck.
I can be swamped with people for months and months, and not meet anyone remotely interesting, and then a week rolls around where I meet 3 in a row. Isn't it just the way?
But being around others increases our odds of meeting the right other. Still might not happen, or might happen totally out of left field. But no one meets anyone, keeping to yourself. So next time you want to read the paper, take it to the park. Probably won't meet anyone. But you know you won't meet anyone in your living room. At least, we hope you don't go for the bad boy home invader type Stick to jewel thieves. Burglerers have no ambition.
[This message edited by CheshCat at 8:54 PM, March 27th (Thursday)]
Moi : BS MH 30mumble
Him : WS Abuse Adultery Addict Six-figure Sociopath = Aaass
... I picked a winner!
DDay - 2006 ad naseam