I do not go to many BAN meetings; actually this last year I only went 4 times. On our last meeting we had an assignment; we were supposed to write down what still is bothering us from the A. We would each ask our question and have the members discuss it. We only have one man in our group; the rest of us ( 7 members attending regularly excluding me ) are women.
There is one lady who is still suffering from the EA her H had and the hurtful things he did and said to her. What she is struggling with now is whether it had turned into a PA. She wants to know desperately but he refuses to answer; his response is" You will believe what you want to believe." nice, eh?
She posed 3 questions and she wanted to see what we, as men or women. would have done in this situation.
I will post the questions as best as I can remember; please DO NOT ask any question as to " why isn't she doing so and so?' or " how come her H does so and so?" ' Why doesn't she flat out ask him?" etc. She has asked: he won't give an answer.
Remember: I DO NOT KNOW details other than what she has discussed in the group the few times I attended.
I will print all answers and give them to her next time I see her. I am sure she would like to have as many answers on the subject as possible.
He H was transferred to Saudi Arabia to work . He will work there for at least 2 years. He plans to come and visit every 3-4 months. She does not plan to join him mainly because of the location and the restrictions placed on women, but she will visit as often as she can.
The night before H left for the overseas assignment he met with her and many coworkers for a farewell party. She was told nothing about this, only that H would be having a few drinks with another coworker. As far as she knows, her H and this woman had only met at work earlier, no opportunity to meet privately. That she knows for a fact from a co-worker she asked.
Scenario No 1
If these two had a PA already, wouldn't they want to have another sexual encounter before he left?
As a man / woman wouldn't you have liked to? I know I would have.
Scenario No 2
If they had only kissed even once, wouldn't they want to kiss some more or make out in the car in the parking lot before he left to go overseas? As a man/ woman what would YOU have done? I know I would definitely have wanted to.
Scenario No 3 ( 2 part question)
If they had never had any physical contact, just an EA is it possible that since they would not see each other for quite a while
a) they would have been content to just say good bye and each go home
b) he would have walked her to her car ( as the gentleman that he is) and most likely they would have exchanged their first kiss right there and then? Something to look forward to and what may lie ahead when he comes back?
As a man/ woman what would YOU have done?
PS: I am stating the questions as posed to the group.
Please, do not guess what some man/woman would have done. Only what YOU would have done in this case.
Thank you for reading this and taking time to respond.