Grieving doesn't mean you wear black and never smile. I imagine I will grieve that this happened for the rest of my life.
Sort of like when a loved one dies. That doesn't ever stop hurting and you don't stop missing them but it's strong and intense at first, and tapers with healing. If something reminds you of the loss you'll respond and sometimes it will be strongly, sometimes not as strongly.
You have to deal with it the way that feels right to you.
I have had joyful days and times with my WH since dday but during those times I also had a deep sadness because he wasn't doing everything I asked of him. I can carry on with myself and still be sad and upset, unresolved and needing healing.
Maybe you are starting to come out of that intense pain that happens in the beginning. That's normal and ok. Just because you rejoin life and smile it does not mean everything is resolved and better. You don't have to stay in the corner crying to continue your grief while you get back to living.
The fear and real threat is that a WS who wants to rugsweep often times twists this to mean things are fine and better when that's not what it necessarily means. It just means you can function a little better now.
TT for 6 months
Unremorseful for 3.5 years
Delay is the deadliest form of denial. - C. Northcote Parkinson
Your standards aren't up for negotiation just because he/she can't meet them.