Hello
I remember reading sometime ago and I can't remember who posted it, about a couple who had a trial separation, then started dating again, and then some time afterwards, moved back in together to continue their R in earnest.
Has anyone else done this? Or has anyone else had a trial separation which actually then meant to reconnect was much harder? Or then never moved back together?
My situation - my WS has now been living out for nearly 2 months although the first month was a hotchpotch of spare beds in friends and colleagues houses. Now it's a studio apartment where he has signed a 3 month lease.
We are spending no time together whilst we are in IC and we are evaluating what we both want. He sees the kids twice a week which I find hard, as inevitably I am tense and get stressed when he comes to the house. Although IC has helped me tremendously with that so I am now finding it easier. I have refused to talk about kids, money or our M when he comes to the house as that is his time to be with our kids and the house is my safe zone. Until our communication improves, I have asked for any talks about those subjects to be on neutral territory. Which means the ball is in his court and typically, he's not being proactive! So we have a big backlog of admin that needs to be discussed, but I am digging my heels in as one of the main issues in our M was that I became more and more the manager and not me, Taebelly. Again, IC is really helping me with this.
Anyway we have had a few sessions of MC which will continue. I suppose in my old manager role, I'm itching to start work on the M, get moving, get sorting, etc etc. so my big personal hurdle is to slow down, take time, focus on me. It's a work in progress!
Anyone else been in this situation?
Me BS - 43
Him WH (Coffeebelly) - 49
Married 19 years, together 20
3 kids, 15, 13, 8
DD 21st Jan 2014. 2 year EA/ PA with old flame from teen years
Still unsure of what's going to happen next, living as an expat in the Far East away from hom