SurvivingInfidelity.com Forum Archives

Williesmom posted 3/29/2014 10:59 AM

So, I went to cirque by myself this week.

As I walked in the crowd, I saw no other people alone. It made me feel bad. I know that everyone doesn't have someone, so where are all the singles?

I enjoy doing things by myself. I find it relaxing, because I don't have to worry about what someone else thinks, wants, or needs. I guess I'm just perplexed.

FaithFool posted 3/29/2014 11:18 AM

They were probably out at the bar trying to hook up.

I prefer flying solo myself, as you know...

Kajem posted 3/29/2014 11:32 AM

You gals are inspiring me! I do some things alone and need to get better at going to more.

Williesmom maybe they went to the matinee performance, I've seen some singles at plays.

Williesmom posted 3/29/2014 12:07 PM

Kajem, it's definitley enlightening to just do whateve you want. FaithFool has been my inspiration for this part of my life

As I was walking to my seat, I passed a couple that was arguing loudly. The wife was screaming at her husband while she sobbed. Ugh - no way would I want to be either one of them.

I'll take single any day of the week. The company is fabulous!

GabyBaby posted 3/29/2014 12:27 PM

Married or not, I too love doing things by myself.
Just yesterday I went to the movies alone and had a blast.

I think it takes a certain amount of confidence to sit in a restaurant and enjoy a meal on your own. Sometimes I read, other times I just enjoy the people watching.

Don't let couples scare you off. They're probably not paying any attention anyway.

Whalers11 posted 3/29/2014 12:33 PM

None of my single friends are comfortable doing stuff alone. I totally am - I eat out by myself, go to concerts, sporting events, movies, etc. However, I also did a lot of stuff alone when I was in a relationship, so it's no different for me.

hexed posted 3/29/2014 12:49 PM

I think that culturally we spend a lot of time trying to find ways to couple up, meet up, pair up.... I don't think that it's all bad but its astonishing how many people cannot be alone.

Because I travel for work, I do lots of things solo or I would never see the cities I travel to. Dinners, art museums, parks, concerts, trails, and anything else worth exploring. I think it takes getting used to and most people don't take the time.

You're just being you! Why miss a chance to go to something just b/c your friends schedules or budgets don't match up with yours? silly I say!

Williesmom posted 3/29/2014 14:55 PM

Exactly, hexed. I used to travel for my job also, so I just got used to doing things on my own.

Helen of Troy posted 3/29/2014 15:35 PM

You don't see many other singles because most are afraid to go out alone. You are brave they are not. One of my coworkers can't or won't walk across campus alone, she always needs someone's apron strings to hold onto. A forty-something woman who seems like one of the big bosses is her mom. Seriously I feel uneasy watching it all.
This may be biased but when I was married I noticed more singletons. Now divorced, I feel it's just the opposite.

Sad in AZ posted 3/29/2014 15:39 PM

I guess (no, I know ) that none of us live near each other. I think that's the only way we'll see others out on their own. I go out by myself all the time (no other choice at this point) and I never see singles, except maybe at Starbucks.

FaithFool posted 3/29/2014 15:40 PM

If we all lived near each other we'd be a gang.

CheshCat posted 3/29/2014 17:45 PM

My parents have an amaaaaaaaaaazing marriage.
Actually, out of over 40 individuals in my near-family, I'm only one of 2 divorces. (My grandparents 60+ year marriage was their 2nd marriage). Everyone else has these stellar life long union. (My grandparents give me hope).

Anyhow... My dad was Navy.
He was out to sea 6+ months a year.
Which meant my mom was alone with us.
Which meant I got a stellar example of how to take life by the horns and do stuff alone.
So I do.

Most people don't.

They invite friends, go to meet ups to make friends, have a zillion first dates... What have you.

They all say they need to learn to be more like me.

I need to learn to be more like them!

It just doesn't occur to me to go drag someone with me.
My couple friends periodically thwack me upside the back of the head.
Apparently there is no better "wingman" than a married couple because you have the excuse of "being the 3rd wheel to peel off from" of someone interesting comes around. Blink. Blink. I'm not trying to pick people up! I'm trying to have fun!

So I suspect that there is a happy medium, somewhere.
Between enjoying things on your own, dating in motion, and being with friends.

>^..^<