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Trial Separation?

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Hunterfarmer posted 3/29/2014 14:19 PM

She wants to spend some time house sitting and calls it a trial separation. I have read that it can be good for couples battling infidelity to spend some time apart. I am NOT in favor of this if she wants to call it a trial sep. Would it be good for us I do not know. I don't know if I can take the loneliness of being apart from her.

BrokenButTrying posted 3/29/2014 14:28 PM

If it's what she wants and feels would be good for her then you should be supportive of that.

My BH and I are currently separated, it's an open ended separation. I don't have clue what's going on, whether we'll R or D. But it's what he needs so that's what we're doing and I make it as easy for him as possible.

Yes, it sucks big time being away from my BH. I miss him like crazy. Today he took the kids out for awhile, he got back and we gave them dinner and put them to bed then he left. We said goodbye at the door and I had to fight every instinct inside me not to hug him. I ache to be in his arms. Now I'm sat watching the voice, crying.

The consequences of my actions are hard.

Prayingforhope posted 3/29/2014 19:23 PM

I don't know if I can take the loneliness of being apart from her.

I'm 5 months into a trial separation that my wife asked for to support her healing and yes, I can appreciate how lonely you think it's going to be.

But guess what? The time to worry first about your feelings is long gone. If you want any shot at R, all you need to focus on today is what your BS needs to heal, to feel safe, to get solid ground below her feet, ANYTHING she needs is what matters now.

And guess what? It IS lonely but it's a once in a life opportunity to work on you. To self reflect, to be alone with yourself and really have a think about what and why you did what you did. That should be augmented with IC and reading and maybe, just maybe, you'll come out of the trial separation with a wife who might consider trying to rebuild with you.

Good luck. Leaving your house at the request of your spouse is the darkest moment but these are the consequences of the our actions...

Neveragain1221 posted 3/29/2014 20:08 PM

My BH and I "separate" every time he leaves on contract for work. We have limited/no contact when he's gone. I won't mince words; It's hell. I hate every second he's gone. It's like my heart is being torn in half.

But if your BS wants space, give it to her. It'll hurt, but it can also heal.

[This message edited by Neveragain1221 at 8:09 PM, March 29th (Saturday)]

Hunterfarmer posted 4/1/2014 22:52 PM

Thanks everyone for the input. One of the biggest issues keeping my BS and I from moving forward is the content of a load of texts. I would like to be able to recover them. Any Ideas My cell carrier is Verizon. I deleted them after my spose found them.

cindergirl posted 4/1/2014 23:35 PM

How long ago did you delete these texts? And what type of phone do you have?

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