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Newest Member: Calmate (46012)

User Topic: Criminy.
Harriet
♀ 34543
Member # 34543
Default  Posted: 10:45 PM, March 29th (Saturday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I am, at this moment, involved in a back and forth series of jocular texts with my ex. This is because he has been back in contact with his fOW and I am...jealous!

He wants me to like him (does not want to be with me, but it helps with his guilt if we connect), and I know that this desire of his bothers the fOW (and was part of the reason they broke up). I think I am going crazy. I know exactly how this ends, I have done it many times now.

The best I ever felt was when I was able to go for a long time with absolutely no contact. I need to find my inner strength and self respect again.

I need to let it go already.

I hear about him with other women and I feel nothing. He can move on with anyone but her. I see my IC next week and I will be so ashamed to tell her about this.

I know it's messed up, I am already hitting myself with 2X4s, but feel free to clobber me. I just can't seem to move on...I get sucked back in.


D-Day Spring 2008
3 years false R
Divorce Final 6/7/12

Posts: 561 | Registered: Jan 2012 | From: California
LifeIsBroken
♀ 27071
Member # 27071
Default  Posted: 11:50 PM, March 29th (Saturday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

What's to be jealous of ? You know what she's getting and you know what he's getting. Surely not a prize for either one of them. Remind yourself why you are no longer with him.


BW: 59
XH: 60
Married 34 yrs, LIBerated: 2/17/11
MOW: 50 (she said she wanted a sugar daddy; xh said, "I'M HIM!")
Actions ALWAYS have consequences. Too bad cheaters don't consider the consequences BEFORE they create so much damage.

Posts: 536 | Registered: Jan 2010 | From: Missouri & Massachusetts
hummingbird8
♀ 25086
Member # 25086
Default  Posted: 12:06 AM, March 30th (Sunday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

How nice that both you and her are willing to build up his self esteem and give him what he wants.

Who cares what he wants? Would he care what you wanted and bend himself over to give it to you? Stop giving him power.


Posts: 514 | Registered: Aug 2009
SBB
♀ 35229
Member # 35229
Default  Posted: 12:20 AM, March 30th (Sunday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

^^ what she said. Why on earth are you acting like his is some prize? Jealous that she gets that lying, cheating, scumbag, POS?

GRATEFUL is what you should be. I sometimes want to thank OWUmpteen for now being that parasites new host, yay!

Oh and this makes it none of your business:

Divorce Final 6/7/12

Doesn't the thought of giving him ego kibbles make you want to vomit violently?

You need to stop talking to him. Don't get sucked back in. What on earth could you want to be talking to him for?

[This message edited by SBB at 12:20 AM, March 30th (Sunday)]


I may have reached a point where I'd piss on him if he was on fire.... eventually!!

Posts: 5733 | Registered: Apr 2012 | From: Australia
norabird
♀ 42092
Member # 42092
Default  Posted: 12:34 PM, March 30th (Sunday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Turn off your phone if you have to. Put it on airplane mode. Leave it in another room.

((((Hugs))))


Sit. Feast on your life.

Posts: 4232 | Registered: Jan 2014 | From: NYC
PurpleRose
♀ 33129
Member # 33129
Default  Posted: 3:11 PM, March 30th (Sunday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Oh let her have him! He is no prize.. He is a lowly, lying cheater. And she will get just that!

The prize is all hers.. Let that shit go!!


divorced the Dooosh
*****************************
even if you find your voice,
sometimes it does not matter anymore,
when you speak to a man who is deaf by choice.
~dodinsky

Posts: 3631 | Registered: Aug 2011 | From: Happyville
gma56
♀ 19595
Member # 19595
Wink  Posted: 6:06 PM, March 30th (Sunday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

She may be the FOW but they deserve each other. Remember the OP could have been ANYONE that would pay attention to him.

Yes let go of the hate/jealousy, it doesn't hurt her or him. Only makes you feel bad.

No matter what she has done with your now XH, it was always his decision to have the affair. Doesn't mean she wasn't willing and a knowing Bitch but you said vows with him. He betrayed you , she didn't. I always put 100% of blame on the WS not the OP. Like I said the OP could have been anyone that would say the right things to make WS feel better about themselves and in FOW's case, spread her legs for him.

The way you feel about them together can only change if you make it change. know easier said than done.

My XH is 34 yrs older than OW (now wife) and they have a baby. He's 75 and she's 41. I just smile when I think of them together because I KNOW who she was dumb enough to marry and I was smart enough to walk away from.

Hard to be jealous of that wreck of a marriage.
No contact is your best friend.

Wish them well and turn around and walk away with a huge smile because it isn't your problem any longer !
Gma


BW-Divorced
It's my life now, my choices, my mistakes to make and my victories to celebrate. His choices made me free of liars and betrayers in my life. That is priceless.

Posts: 20387 | Registered: May 2008 | From: Closer to where I want to be..
Harriet
♀ 34543
Member # 34543
Default  Posted: 10:11 PM, March 30th (Sunday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Thank you for the responses. They help me get back on track.

I need to re-read my journal that reminds me of who he really is, and all the things he has done/said. And to count my blessings.


D-Day Spring 2008
3 years false R
Divorce Final 6/7/12

Posts: 561 | Registered: Jan 2012 | From: California
gma56
♀ 19595
Member # 19595
Default  Posted: 10:47 PM, March 30th (Sunday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Your dday and divorce final is almost my exact timeline.

My dday March 2008
divorce final July 2012

We only had 3 mo of false R and remained S for 4 yrs. We were married 22 yrs at time of dday.

Big Hugs !!

I need to re-read my journal that reminds me of who he really is, and all the things he has done/said. And to count my blessings

Exactly and you don't live his lies any longer ! That is huge too and such a blessing.


BW-Divorced
It's my life now, my choices, my mistakes to make and my victories to celebrate. His choices made me free of liars and betrayers in my life. That is priceless.

Posts: 20387 | Registered: May 2008 | From: Closer to where I want to be..
Topic Posts: 9

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