Topic: It is strange what happens sometimes...
Member # 41886
| Posted: 10:52 PM, March 29th (Saturday), 2014|
Just wanted to share....things with WH have been well lately. Spent the day at a school event for my son all together like a happy family. Being busy like this kept the A thoughts away. I still have trouble sleeping and usually read novels to fall asleep. Well the night of the A's discovery, I went to the living room to read in the middle of the night. Before I could get comfy with my book, I heard my H's phone buzz that a text came in. I picked up the phone since I was suspicious and that's when my world blew up. Ever since that day I cannot pick up a novel without triggering. So to be safe from romance etc. I started reading some of my 9 year old's books. I have read my share of dragon stories, Diary of a Wimpy Kid etc. The last few nights I've been reading The Mostly True Adventures of Homer P. Figg and this is the last chapter of the book:
I think in some ways it's like that for all of us, living with the ghosts of things that used to be, or never were. We're all of us haunted by yesterday, and we got no choice but to keep marching into our tomorrows. Keep marching boys and girls. Keep marching.
Posts: 84 | Registered: Jan 2014 | From: USA
Member # 31349
| Posted: 11:41 PM, March 29th (Saturday), 2014|
Good words of wisdom. Kids' books are a "happy place" go-to for me sometimes too.
"If the path you walk leads back to yourself, you'll never get anywhere." - Master Oogway
Posts: 18371 | Registered: Feb 2011 | From: California
Member # 42890
| Posted: 6:35 AM, March 30th (Sunday), 2014|
Thank you for this. My WW and I are not in R but I am absolutely loving the things I find here like this post. It is amazing how much the entirety of the experiences of each person's A adds a little more to my healing.
Truly, thank you for this and my thoughts are with you as you work through your R.
Me 30s = BS
Her 20s= WW
She had two affairs between 2012-2014 that are confirmed. DD#1 3/2014. DD#2 11/2014.
R? = I am still trying to figure that out.
Posts: 469 | Registered: Mar 2014 | From: California
Member # 41884
| Posted: 7:32 AM, March 30th (Sunday), 2014|
Oh, "ghosts of things that never were" really describes my own situation, since along with current affair, I found out about a 1st affair, 12 years ago…
We're all of us haunted by yesterday, and we got no choice but to keep marching into our tomorrows. Keep marching boys and girls. Keep marching.
Thank you for that; Sometimes we need a little reminder to keep putting one foot in front of the other.
BW: 44 Me
DDay1 9-9-13 (18th Wedding Anniversary) 6 wk EA, 1 wk PA
DDay2: 10-25-13 EA/PA with same OW 12 1/2 years ago for 3 months
OW: XGF Predator who never stopped pursuing WH
Posts: 745 | Registered: Jan 2014 | From: New York
Member # 34755
| Posted: 7:57 AM, March 30th (Sunday), 2014|
I don't read for myself much anymore either.
However this year I started teaching literature and history in our homeschool co-op for highschool aged kids.
I've read Frankenstein, 20,000 Leagues, several short stories, Phantom of the Opera, Robinson Crusoe.
History we've delved into the constitution, industrial revolution, WWII, Greek mythology.
Keeps me busy.
BS - Me
DDay 1 - Jul 11
DDay 2 - Jul 12
R Dec 12
Former 80s Icon wishful thinking
Posts: 2031 | Registered: Feb 2012
Member # 31240
| Posted: 10:18 AM, March 30th (Sunday), 2014|
Greek mythology - and you didn't trigger?
fBH (me) - 70 (22 in my head), fWW (plainsong) - 65+, Married 45+, together since 1965
DDay - 12/2010
Recovered, not yet fully R'ed
I share my own experience because it's the only experience I know, not because I'm a good model.
Posts: 10582 | Registered: Feb 2011 | From: Chicago area
Member # 39803
| Posted: 10:24 AM, March 30th (Sunday), 2014|
We're all of us haunted by yesterday, and we got no choice but to keep marching into our tomorrows.
So true -- I think of the A and the AP for at least a few minutes hourly -- not every minute like I did before, but all the time. My H maintains that he rarely thinks of it, except when I bring it up. For him, it was a terrible place that he got into by mistake, got stuck in, and is glad to be the hell out of. I am the one haunted.
It stinks, sometimes, but I am hopeful that as time passes I will feel less so. (Coming into my first "affair season," so that compounds the issue.)
me - BS (45) - DDay - June 2013
A was 2+ months, EA/PA
In MC & Reconciling
"Getting over a painful experience is much like crossing monkey bars. You have to let go at some point to move forward." -- C.S. Lewis.
Posts: 2159 | Registered: Jul 2013 | From: USA
Member # 38846
| Posted: 10:26 AM, March 30th (Sunday), 2014|
I starting reading some of my W's favorite books from her childhood - I really enjoyed "Harriet the Spy", and plan to start "Wrinkle in Time" next.
I just wanted to feel more in touch with the person she was well before the A. Its part of her too.
Me: BH, 54
Her: WW, 54 4 yr LTA
Married 32 yrs, 2 college age boys
DDay #1: 15Feb13 - LTA 2008-2013
DDay #2: 27Jan14 - ONS, same AP 2007 - turns out it was a 6 yr LTA
Trying to understand
Posts: 267 | Registered: Mar 2013 | From: Colorado
Member # 39703
| Posted: 5:00 PM, March 30th (Sunday), 2014|
Great idea! I find that reading books my kids are reading helps me connect with them, too.
Me: BS - 50; Him: WH - 51, vulnerable NPD
married 19 years, 3 kids
DD1 4/22/13 (hpv diagnosis)
DD2 5/9/13; DD3 6/30/13
DD4 7/7/13 admits "trying to date other women" for 3 years
Posts: 194 | Registered: Jun 2013 | From: DC area
Member # 35846
| Posted: 10:53 AM, March 31st (Monday), 2014|
I stopped reading after dday. I just didn't have the concentration. I swear the A brought out some kind of ADD for me...
I do now enjoy kids movies more than I ever have...easy and innocent...
“And the day came when the risk to remain tight in a bud was more painful than the risk it took to blossom”
We have R'd
Posts: 3858 | Registered: Jun 2012 | From: Massachusetts
|Topic Posts: 10|