I want the truth. Lay it om me insofar as you see it. I'm counting on my SI buddies to help me.
It was the usual deal with me finding out (years after the fatct)that he had a PA and an EA for a year with the same woman and all this while my poor mother was sick and dying. I was taking care of her 24/7 so he felt abandoned.
So he carried on this wonderous affair and his mother keeps telling him to leave me. During the entire almost 30 years of our marriage, her agenda was to get him to leave me.
I found this out when I found out about the A. Double whammy since I considered her a friend.
My husband also told me that he confessed his A to my dying mother and she put her arms around him and said I forgive you. She was a good woman. She chose not to tell me that. Instead , I spent almost evey waking hour with her when she was dying and she didm't say much. It was more about connection through prayer, song and touch.
Now we are left to pick up the pieces. My WH has never onced confessed anything of his own accord. I've insisted on NC with the OW and MIL. I insisted on the letter to the OW which consisted of a few lines wrtitten on FB. (big deal) Ater he made the call to his MIL tonight, we both felt badly. I feel that he will never do anything of his own accord. It bothers me. It makes me cry. Like I am not worth fighting for. I have to "make" you fight for me. That's how it's been for us.
It makes me feel like like shit. I want to be worth fighting for!! He told me afterwards that he was "planning" on telling his mother. OH REALLY? WHEN? THE SAME TIME YOU WERE THINKING OF TELLING ME YOU HAD AN AFFAIR? Which translates into NEVER.
He told MIL that she gave him bad advice during our 27 year marriage. She told him time and time again to leaeve me. He told her that he loves me. Then he said that when he confessed his affair to my dying mother, she forgave him and told him that everyone makes mistakes. My mother never once told me to leave his cheating ass!
He then told his mother that he can't talk to her anymore because she's not a friend of the marriage. She wants to see us fail. He said that he loves her bur can't talk to her anymore.
Our hearts are broken tonight. It's just another casualty from his affair. His relationship with his mother. I am sad. I know he is sad.
[This message edited by SadInNC at 10:52 PM, March 30th (Sunday)]
"Your value doesn't decrease based on someone's inability to see your worth." -Unknown Wise Person