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cbrum84 posted 3/31/2014 09:41 AM

So, to make a long story short, I am such an a**.
I posted a few topics the other day about how my H was being distant and weird. Then I ranted about how he never really apologized to me and how he should have been begging for my forgiveness...blah blah blah. So i texted him friday while I was a work and really let him have it !!! He got home and kissed my forehead, and said you know I have been sick for a week, sorry ive been distant I love you. Then I looked at the date: It is the anniversary of his sisters death 4 years ago. I feel like such an jerk. So then we talked and he opened up a bit and he also said he understood why I was so angry and he would try to talk more.
IS it normal to just automatically jump to the worst? I hate that feeling. Will things ever really be normal after you deal with someone breaking your heart? TRUST...whats that?

deena04 posted 3/31/2014 09:44 AM

(((cbrum84))) sorry to you both. It's such a hard journey and then having that on top of it is very brutal. I am sure he knows that you didn't mean harm and why you felt that way you did.

sisoon posted 3/31/2014 11:47 AM

Yes, it's natural.

I don't mean this harshly. Your H needed to tell you as soon as he became aware that he was having feelings about the anniversary of his sister's passing. You simply are not able to or responsible for reading each other's mind. At the same time, you could have mentioned your discomfort earlier, when it was a small issue.

It sounds like you're both at least thinking about ways to avoid this sort of blow-up in the future, and that's really good.

I suggest telling yourself something like, 'Raising an issue when it's small is an act of love. It opens communication and uncovers opportunities to give and receive love and support.'

cbrum84 posted 3/31/2014 13:22 PM

I know. That is my downfall I believe. I am not good with expressing feelings. Especially if those feelings are hurt or anger. I just keep it inside and then explode. But I will take your advice...Sometimes though when it is small...thats exactly what it is. So small that i feel like i should just keep it to myself. But I know thats wrong and We have to express everything. Thanks

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