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Newest Member: Roaming (61812)

User Topic: Ooops
♀ 42061
Member # 42061
Default  Posted: 9:41 AM, March 31st (Monday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

So, to make a long story short, I am such an a**.
I posted a few topics the other day about how my H was being distant and weird. Then I ranted about how he never really apologized to me and how he should have been begging for my forgiveness...blah blah blah. So i texted him friday while I was a work and really let him have it !!! He got home and kissed my forehead, and said you know I have been sick for a week, sorry ive been distant I love you. Then I looked at the date: It is the anniversary of his sisters death 4 years ago. I feel like such an jerk. So then we talked and he opened up a bit and he also said he understood why I was so angry and he would try to talk more.
IS it normal to just automatically jump to the worst? I hate that feeling. Will things ever really be normal after you deal with someone breaking your heart? TRUST...whats that?

Posts: 92 | Registered: Jan 2014
♀ 41741
Member # 41741
Default  Posted: 9:44 AM, March 31st (Monday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

(((cbrum84))) sorry to you both. It's such a hard journey and then having that on top of it is very brutal. I am sure he knows that you didn't mean harm and why you felt that way you did.

Me FBS around 40
Him FWS early 40s (lovemywife4ever)
He cheated before M, forgot to tell me
"Free at last, free at last, thank God Almighty we are free at last" - MLK Jr

Posts: 2224 | Registered: Dec 2013 | From: Midwest
♂ 31240
Member # 31240
Default  Posted: 11:47 AM, March 31st (Monday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Yes, it's natural.

I don't mean this harshly. Your H needed to tell you as soon as he became aware that he was having feelings about the anniversary of his sister's passing. You simply are not able to or responsible for reading each other's mind. At the same time, you could have mentioned your discomfort earlier, when it was a small issue.

It sounds like you're both at least thinking about ways to avoid this sort of blow-up in the future, and that's really good.

I suggest telling yourself something like, 'Raising an issue when it's small is an act of love. It opens communication and uncovers opportunities to give and receive love and support.'

fBH (me) - 66 on d-day, Married 43, together 45 on d-day, same sex ap
DDay - 12/22/2010
Recover'd and R'ed
Most of us know only our own experience. That's not enough data to support a general rule that D, or R, is right in every sitch.

Posts: 17049 | Registered: Feb 2011 | From: Illinois
♀ 42061
Member # 42061
Default  Posted: 1:22 PM, March 31st (Monday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I know. That is my downfall I believe. I am not good with expressing feelings. Especially if those feelings are hurt or anger. I just keep it inside and then explode. But I will take your advice...Sometimes though when it is small...thats exactly what it is. So small that i feel like i should just keep it to myself. But I know thats wrong and We have to express everything. Thanks

Posts: 92 | Registered: Jan 2014
Topic Posts: 4

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