Cookies are required for login or registration. Please read and agree to our cookie policy to continue.

Newest Member: blkgld

Off Topic :
First P.T.S.D. nightmare??

This Topic is Archived
default

 Undefinabl3 (original poster member #36883) posted at 3:55 PM on Monday, March 31st, 2014

So, DH started off "So I had this messed up dream last night" and proceeded to go in to detail about how he was out walking and all of a sudden a Tiger came up on him and then after him.

He tried to use his gun, but nothing would come out....so he ran, but kept running into people trying to shoot him, he would beat them up and grab their guns, but still, nothing would come out (Even though they had just fired at him)

Eventually this ends with him being shot and killed.

To say that this rattled me is probalby a good statement. I told him that it sounded like PTSD, but he scoffed at me.

DH is a public servent in 2 different roles, badge and gun at both. So the potential of this (other then the tiger) is there. (not to mention almost a decade as a Correctional Officer...he's seem some shit ya'll)

His BEST friend had a severe, almost fatel, accident that left him with severe scaring and he has PTSD. I told DH that it sounded along the same lines as his nightmares.

Anyone have experience with seeing this kind of thing? Any ideas on how to get my doctorphobic DH the help he will probably need?

Me: 35 MH
Him: 41 MH
New online find 6/19/14 - shit
Phone Find 11/21/14 - I can't even right now.
1/26/15 - Started IC for me, DH won't go.
1/10/18 - Again?!? Online EA's

posts: 2422   ·   registered: Sep. 19th, 2012
id 6742421
default

simplydevastated ( member #25001) posted at 4:15 PM on Monday, March 31st, 2014

That sounds like my messed up nightmares on a normal day (minus being shot and killed). Can you actually dream that you die? Anywho... You said he doesn't like doctors, but it does sound he could benefit from talking to a IC about his nightmare. It may not be PTSD, but rather just a stress related nightmare. Have you looked up the symbols in a dream dictionary? Not all dream symbols mean what we think they mean in real life.

Here's what I found just on the gun symbol.

To see a gun in your dream represents aggression, anger, and potential danger. You could be on the defensive about something. Or you may be dealing with issues of passiveness/aggressiveness and authority/dependence. Alternatively, a gun is a symbol of power and pride. Perhaps you are looking for shelter or protection in your dream. From a Freudian perspective, a gun represents the penis and male sexual drive. Thus, the gun may mean power or impotence, depending on whether the gun went off or misfired.

To dream that you are loading a gun forewarns that you should be careful in not letting your temper get out of control. It may also signify your ability to defend yourself in a situation.

To dream that a gun jams or fails to fire indicates that you are feeling powerless in some waking situation. Perhaps you need to attack your problems from a different approach. Alternatively, a malfunctioning gun represents sexual impotence or fear of impotence.

To dream that you are hiding a gun implies that you are repressing your angry feelings.

To dream that you shoot someone with a gun denotes your aggressive feeling and hidden anger toward that particular person. You may be trying to blame them for something.

To dream that someone is shooting you with a gun suggests that you are experiencing some confrontation in your waking life. You feel victimized in a situation or that you are being targeted.

Here's what I found on Tigers

To see a tiger in your dream represents power and your ability to exert it in various situations. The dream may also indicate that you need to take more of a leadership role. Alternatively, the tiger represents female sexuality, aggression, and seduction.

To dream that you are attacked by a tiger refers to the emotions that you have repressed because you were afraid of confronting them.

To see a caged tiger in your dream suggests that your repressed feelings are on the verge of surfacing.

To see rugs made of tiger skins symbolize a life of luxury and ease.

[This message edited by simplydevastated at 10:18 AM, March 31st (Monday)]

Me - BS, 40 (I'm not old...I'm vintage)
Two Wonderful children - DS11, DD8
Getting my ducks in a row for divorce... finally (4+ D-Days too many - listed in profile.)

posts: 6121   ·   registered: Jul. 31st, 2009   ·   location: In the darkest depths of hell!
id 6742450
default

 Undefinabl3 (original poster member #36883) posted at 4:18 PM on Monday, March 31st, 2014

I dont think he is ever Unstressed. Even when he at home he is 'on alert' in some fashion because he needs to protect the kids and me.

The only thing that has helped a little is that I have learned to use and be comfortable with fire arms, we have practice various senerios so that he knows that I know what could happen and that I won't freeze up, and ect.

Me: 35 MH
Him: 41 MH
New online find 6/19/14 - shit
Phone Find 11/21/14 - I can't even right now.
1/26/15 - Started IC for me, DH won't go.
1/10/18 - Again?!? Online EA's

posts: 2422   ·   registered: Sep. 19th, 2012
id 6742455
default

tushnurse ( member #21101) posted at 6:42 PM on Monday, March 31st, 2014

My H has had these types of dreams our entire relationship. What works for him is being aware of them, and telling himself to go back into it, and this time winning, or taking control.

He says if he killed as many bad guys in his dreams the world would be free of them. So yah it's pretty much a nightly thing for him to kill the bad guys.

If he wakes up from a dream, he says he can make himself go right back to it, and take control. I have no idea how to do this, since I don't ever remember my dreams.

Me: FBSHim: FWSKids: 23 & 27 Married for 32 years now, was 16 at the time.D-Day Sept 26 2008R'd in about 2 years. Old Vet now.

posts: 20379   ·   registered: Oct. 1st, 2008   ·   location: St. Louis
id 6742639
default

 Undefinabl3 (original poster member #36883) posted at 7:21 PM on Monday, March 31st, 2014

he is supposed to be going into a new position that has more responsiblity and less back up soonish, they haven't given him a start date on it yet.

That may have him uneasy i guess.

I just really dont want to sit back and wait for full blown PTSD to hit and we are neck deep before either one of us realizes what the hell is going on.

In his lines of work, they say that its not if, its when you get it. More people come away from the job with it then not....so I just want to be more prepared.

Me: 35 MH
Him: 41 MH
New online find 6/19/14 - shit
Phone Find 11/21/14 - I can't even right now.
1/26/15 - Started IC for me, DH won't go.
1/10/18 - Again?!? Online EA's

posts: 2422   ·   registered: Sep. 19th, 2012
id 6742685
default

NotDefeatedYet ( member #33642) posted at 3:30 AM on Tuesday, April 1st, 2014

The crap we laugh and joke about at work would make most here cringe. You have to. One guy I worked with went insane. And I mean that very literally. He barricaded himself in his house one day and held his wife hostage. Guy had a PhD and everything. I'd used him as a reference many times. It was really sad to see him like that, but he was pulling body parts out of the federal building in Oklahoma. He never stuck around to laugh and joke about seeing someone torn in pieces at a car wreck or anything.

You have to find people who understand, and make light of it all. If you don't, it will drive you insane.

"It's a fool that looks for logic in the chambers of the human heart."

posts: 769   ·   registered: Oct. 17th, 2011   ·   location: Texas
id 6743260
default

tushnurse ( member #21101) posted at 2:18 PM on Tuesday, April 1st, 2014

If he is developing it, doesn't he have access to mental health services? In that type of role there is usually some support.

If not then make him an appointment with a credible Psych that has experience in working with Soldiers/Law enforcement and PTSD. I agree that you want to get a handle on things before they get out of hand.

Hopefully just a stress reaction, but best to be safe.

Me: FBSHim: FWSKids: 23 & 27 Married for 32 years now, was 16 at the time.D-Day Sept 26 2008R'd in about 2 years. Old Vet now.

posts: 20379   ·   registered: Oct. 1st, 2008   ·   location: St. Louis
id 6743633
default

Sad in AZ ( member #24239) posted at 2:39 PM on Tuesday, April 1st, 2014

I don't know how 'enlightened' LEO agencies have become, but when the X was NYPD, he didn't dare go for psych counseling or claim any kind of problem--it would have been the end of his career. Therefore, I can understand you H stuffing his anxieties. Is it healthy? No. Is it common? Very much so.

As NDY alludes, most LEOs keep to themselves and blow off steam with coworkers who have done and seen the same things. The X used to share a lot with me, so I can just imagine what he did not share.

Actually, I think it's good that he's having these dreams. Dreams let you process what you can't while awake. They seem very cryptic, but they're a way for your mind to process.

You are important and you matter. Your feelings matter. Your voice matters. Your story matters. Your life matters. Always.

Me: FBS (no longer betrayed nor a spouse)-63
D-day: 2007 (two years before finding SI)
S: 6/2010; D: 3/2011

posts: 25351   ·   registered: Jun. 3rd, 2009   ·   location: Arizona
id 6743674
default

 Undefinabl3 (original poster member #36883) posted at 3:42 PM on Tuesday, April 1st, 2014

I don't know how 'enlightened' LEO agencies have become, but when the X was NYPD, he didn't dare go for psych counseling or claim any kind of problem--it would have been the end of his career. Therefore, I can understand you H stuffing his anxieties. Is it healthy? No. Is it common? Very much so.

This a million times over. Everyone knows that to actually get help means the end of your career and possibly also the end of your Conceled Carry permit too.

One thing i will say is that this is so far the only noticable thing. I make it a huge point for him to destress with his buddies, I have single handledly got him back into hunting and fishing so that he can have more outside activities rather then just stay home and mull about.

We did get 2 horses and you can literally see the stress melt off when he is in saddle.

And he does talk to me about things, some are just utterly unrepeatable and still to this day haunt my own thoughts...and that was only a mere small fraction of what he had to deal with day to day. He lets me into his world more because he wants me to understand what could literally, show up at our front door.

i guess its a 'keep my eyes open' situation...thanks for all the imput.

Me: 35 MH
Him: 41 MH
New online find 6/19/14 - shit
Phone Find 11/21/14 - I can't even right now.
1/26/15 - Started IC for me, DH won't go.
1/10/18 - Again?!? Online EA's

posts: 2422   ·   registered: Sep. 19th, 2012
id 6743762
This Topic is Archived
Cookies on SurvivingInfidelity.com®

SurvivingInfidelity.com® uses cookies to enhance your visit to our website. This is a requirement for participants to login, post and use other features. Visitors may opt out, but the website will be less functional for you.

v.1.001.20250404a 2002-2025 SurvivingInfidelity.com® All Rights Reserved. • Privacy Policy