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He's on the attack today...

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nutmegkitty posted 3/31/2014 10:28 AM

it's been a long while since I've been the victim of one of his rages, but boy howdy he was on a tear this morning and let me have it via 30 minutes of text after text...saying...

I'm a pill junkie and probably an alcholic too, and unless and until I get help I will be a terrible mother.
My dd 10 needs to give up her lovie immediately (she sleeps with it).
I am not a good role model for mu children.
I am going through life with blinders on.
I don't talk to my children about cleanlieness and manners (???WTF???).

The list of accusations goes on. I don't know what set him off but he was vicious and relentless thsi morning and it has gotten to me.

I know I'm a good mother. My children are healthy, well adjusted (I think?), get good grades, have lots of friends, smile, laugh, eat nutrituously (for the most part), bathe, brush their teeth and hair, wear clean clothes, have a clean environemtn to live in. Heis just trying to get ot me right???

And yes, I do take meds, But I'm under the care of a really good psych. I don't pop pills willy nilly. Nor do I drink to excess at all.

Oh, and now he's on my about dd10 and her picky eating. I make sure there is a fruit and a veg available at almsot every meal. I encourage her to try and eat new things, but I WILL NOT force her to eat anything.

Arch, he's gottem me all worked up, I hate when he does this. Stupid NPD asshat.

He's just spewing this junk because he needs kibbles, right? I refuse to engage, even though I do feel the need to defend myself. But I won't engage, I just won't.

GabyBaby posted 3/31/2014 10:38 AM

Ignore this idiot.
He's having a bad day and decided to take it out on you. Your kids are lucky to have a great mom who puts them first.

norabird posted 3/31/2014 10:55 AM

I am so sorry he is attacking you. Please know that you are a great mom and that he is inventing ridiculous accusations for his own idiotic reasons of not being able to face his OWN shortcomings head on.


(((nutmegkitty and nutmegkittens)))

Must Survive posted 3/31/2014 10:57 AM

Nutmeg,

Take a breath. You KNOW you are a good mom. You also KNOW he is a NPD ass. If he was anyone else would you even allow them to txt you this crap? No.

Block his txt and calls. Allow only email. I don't remember how often he as custody of them, but perhaps only allow txt from him when he has them (for emergencies). All other times, block only email.

Ignore him. You know his values are not yours.

hexed posted 3/31/2014 11:04 AM

did he ask a question? or is he just tirading?

I'm pretty sure he can do that by e-mail. block his number

risingfromashes posted 3/31/2014 11:17 AM

Nutmegkitty,

You are a wonderful Mom and role model! He is making statements about manners????
Ignore his idiotic dribble and go about your day knowing that you are in a good place being divorced from that jerk!

Softcentre posted 3/31/2014 11:26 AM

Oh,but do remember to save his texts and get screenshots. It may help in the future: parental alienation anyone? Oh, and harassment...

SBB posted 3/31/2014 12:31 PM

Ignore this idiot.
He's having a bad day and decided to take it out on you

^^THIS.

Show your dick some respect dude - at least PRETEND your life is better this way. Mine sure is.

Crickets all the way. Block his number and insist in all comms via email. At the very least I'd consider having a trusted someone vet this shit and only tell you about stuff you need to respond to. That way you won't need to even read this shit designed to get a rise out of you. I did that it for a few months until I got good at NC.

Projection much. What a fuckwit.

GingerAle posted 3/31/2014 13:18 PM

I'm sorry nutmegkitty. These attacks are so hurtful, even though they are complete lies. It helps me to remind myself that he is miserable, and projecting onto me. That's what they do. They're sick.

((((nutmegkitty))))

Tearsoflove posted 3/31/2014 13:34 PM

He's a jerk and he obviously doesn't know much about parenting. Your daughter needs her lovey as security because she has gone through terrible turmoil with the divorce. It's very common for children to have a favored stuffed animal or blanket for emotional well being even when they haven't gone through a divorce or have an NPD father with an immature girlfriend. The fact that your daughter doesn't need twenty of them is amazing.

As for the picky eating, that's also normal. And studies show that parents who force their children to eat or guilt them into it are more likely to raise children with eating disorders. Children will follow their biological urges to eat unless we tamper with it, most of the time. You're doing the right thing. Give her healthy choices and then let her decide how much she needs. As long as she appears to be developing normally, you're on target.

As for your NPD ex-asshole, I agree that you should block his texts and communicate only via email. But I'd definitely save copies of all the texts up until now if you can. He's harassing you and you never know when a little proof might come in handy. Definitely don't respond. Stupidity doesn't deserve a reply.

newlysingle posted 3/31/2014 14:35 PM

He's having a full-fledged mantrum. My 18 month old DS just had one when I made him come inside to eat lunch. Yes, kicking and screaming on the floor. This is exactly what your X is doing. So just imagine him as the toddler he is and ignore him.

He's also just trying to hit below the belt with the bad mother comments. He knows that's the way to get to you.

neverdidithink posted 3/31/2014 14:39 PM

He's an idiot.

My dd 10 needs to give up her lovie immediately (she sleeps with it).

This made me laugh. when my oldest was a senior in college, she called me crying one morning. "When I was home on break I left (lovie) in my bed. I'm sick, I'm stressed out over finals, and I NEED him. Can you please FedEx (lovie) to me?"

You've got this way under control, just ignore him. You can look at the kids for proof you're doing just fine!

nutmegkitty posted 3/31/2014 14:50 PM

thanks for talking me down. I hate that he knows EXACTLY how to get to me (he installed the buttons, right?)

I'll be ok. I will be on edge for a while because I jsut never know what else he has up his sleeves when he's in a mood like this. It gets tiring though.

nowiknow23 posted 3/31/2014 15:52 PM

I hate that he knows EXACTLY how to get to me (he installed the buttons, right?)
Exactly right, honey. ((((nutmeg))))

Oh - and I don't think DD10 should take lovie to her dad's. He's likely to steal it from her in the night and burn it "for her own good" or some such NPD bullshit.

(ps: My DS20's ex-girfriend stole the bear he's had since he was born. That did NOT go over well. Police were involved, and George is now safely back in his place of honor on DS's bed. )

nutmegkitty posted 3/31/2014 15:54 PM

Oh my god NIK, I didn't even think of that but you are right, it's a real possibility. I will have to think about what to do here with regards to her lovie. She would be DEV-A-STATED if anything happened to it.

Holly-Isis posted 3/31/2014 16:00 PM

Hmmm, maybe you could suggest to him that his actions have prolonged your DD's need for a lovie. "abandonment issues" "need for security" "comfort" A few key words...

Since he's such a great parent, surely he can work on the picky eating and other issues and give you his tips for success. again

Finally, I agree with the suggestion to have her keep her lovie at home, JIC. Maybe she would let you cut a piece out that she can hold if she needs to.

Nature_Girl posted 3/31/2014 16:03 PM

I agree, don't send the lovie or any other cuddly attachment "friend" over to your ex's house anymore. They're going to disappear if you do.

Sorry he's being such a dickhead.

SBB posted 3/31/2014 16:20 PM

I would send a stunt lovie over to his house with her - similar fabrics/shape. If it disappears she'll understand why she can't take lovie over there. If it stays then she can keep it there and the real thing at home so she is never without.

It's also good to have backups. My girls have different comforters here and at their dads - chosen by them.

tesla posted 3/31/2014 16:55 PM

Fuck that guy and his whiny mantrum.

Shooting you text after text over the course of 30 minutes? What the fuck?
What sane person does this?

oh...right...he's a fucking whiny piece of NPD shit.

courageous posted 3/31/2014 19:06 PM

((Nutmegkitty)). I'm sorry that he's being such a jerk. Sounds like he is feeling bad about himself so he needs to put you down to make him feel better

We all know (and you do too) that you are a great mom.

Ftg!

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