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Divorce/Separation :
Why do I torture myself?!?!

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 freeatlast72 (original poster member #42758) posted at 12:54 AM on Tuesday, April 1st, 2014

Ok, a little background. DD6 plays T-ball and STBXWH coaches. OW's DD5 plays on the same team (plus she is a neighbor).....last fall when the affair started would hug on and kiss her kids when I wasn't there.

Tball started for the Spring season and of course OW her daughter on the same team-- this after STBXWH and OW announced they had feelings for each other on NYE.

I have decided to go to the Tball games to support my daughter. Today was the fourth game and it was pure torture....I do not like seeing her there cheering my daughter on....plus now she is helping in the dugout. Their relationship is still in the closet and they are keeping it a secret from others....she is going through a divorce too.

I yelled at STBXWH as I was getting in the car..."You know you can say bye to your girlfriend, I know what's up"....he of course pretended to not hear.

I keep throwing the alienation of affection lawsuit out (I live in NC)...and I know he squirms everytime I mention it.

Ugh....another thing...what is wrong with society today? Some of our mutual friends act like he did nothing wrong! OW acts like she did nothing wrong at the Tball games....guess this is a microcosm of society in general....no consequences for inappropriate behavior and actions!

BS:42(me)
Kids: DD7
DDay: 12/31/2013
Married 15 years
DIVORCED!!!

You can't rationalize irrational behavior.

posts: 137   ·   registered: Mar. 13th, 2014   ·   location: North Carolina
id 6743117
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dmari ( member #37215) posted at 1:05 AM on Tuesday, April 1st, 2014

Some of our mutual friends act like he did nothing wrong!

I'm lifting you up in my thoughts and sending you strength to deal with them. I can't imagine how difficult it is to see them in that context.

posts: 2868   ·   registered: Oct. 21st, 2012
id 6743130
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Must Survive ( member #34533) posted at 2:19 AM on Tuesday, April 1st, 2014

Freeatlast72,

They are not friends of the marriage if they don't think anything is wrong in this behavior.

I am no longer in contact with a couple of friends who thought the same way. That they needed to "support" us both. No F***ing way.

Remove those from your life who don't support you and your values.

Me BS
WS: Just a squished bug on the window of my life!
Divorced-Let my new beginning start

They have a choice: they can live in my new world, or they can die in their old one." — Daenerys Targaryen

posts: 1066   ·   registered: Jan. 13th, 2012   ·   location: Must Survive
id 6743197
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ideservebetter45 ( member #36951) posted at 3:21 AM on Tuesday, April 1st, 2014

I agree. I have removed a few friends myself.I have to say tho most of them including his mom thinks he is an idiot and has no desire to meet ow. Thank God for that. Its so hard. How can people not see that this is wrong???

posts: 250   ·   registered: Sep. 26th, 2012   ·   location: ideservebetter45
id 6743254
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renee21 ( member #27088) posted at 3:31 AM on Tuesday, April 1st, 2014

My sitch is a little different but I can relate. Stbxh and I ran a youth football organization together, he was our president. He decided to hook up with the local slut/New parent at our park. we all knew something was going on last season, he moved in with her and her parents before the season was over while me, our kids, his parents and her were out there together. He then had the audacity to think he would stay on this season and bring her and her kids back out while refusing to admit they are together and lying to all of us about living with her. in my case our board voted him out and told her not to return, but their affair was very blatant and everyone hates her. This spring season and last were pure hell on me, so I understand how you feel.

people who do this kind of stuff while participating in youth organizations are a special breed of scum, especially those who do it in front of their children.

of course, both him and her couldn't understand why people were so upset with them, why they were asked to leave, that is all my fault, so he tells me.

BW(me) 36
WH-36 SA
Three kids 18, 16 and 9
Married 18 years.
Multiple D-Days, multiple OW and an OC
12/19/03,5/13/2004,12/5/2009, 2/20/2014
I am no longer a guest on the Jerry Springer Show.

posts: 1327   ·   registered: Jan. 6th, 2010   ·   location: Florida
id 6743261
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