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Newest Member: farmgrl (61811)

User Topic: Coming up on a year since DDay
♀ 42276
Member # 42276
Default  Posted: 8:46 PM, March 31st (Monday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I'm dreading it. The affair began in April of last year and the month of May was one of the worst months of my life. He was so mean and callous, and then so kind and trying to be loving, only to turn around and verbally slap me again all while being head over heels with his ex.

The job I have has me working occasional weekends to go in and check on things. I didn't realize it at the time, but I am working every other weekend for nearly 8 weeks, starting the weekend that their affair started and ending the weekend he finally decided which relationship was more important.

My husband, last year, said he wanted to make that month of time "fun" this year, but I don't know that I can accept that yet. There are dates coming that are etched into my brain and I am dreading their anniversary this year, so I'm working...a lot.

Not really sure how to get my husband to understand it, though. I am far more articulate after the fact than I am in the midst of emotional turmoil.

I really am not looking forward to the next two months. They hurt.

Posts: 95 | Registered: Jan 2014
♀ 42746
Member # 42746
Default  Posted: 9:07 PM, March 31st (Monday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Oh my god I don't have words of advice just massive hugs and commiseration. Your first paragraph sounds exactly like what I'm suffering through right now.

As pathetic as it may sound, I sincerely hope with every last bit of my poor over-worked heart that in one year my biggest problem will be figuring out how to survive the triggers of memorable dates, alongside my husband.

In my mind, even when he is being the most callous and cold as he tells me he loves his ex, I still hope in one year we'll be together - struggling, but together - rather than in D or S.

I don't think your husband will ever full understand. Just start by telling him now. Say going over the top might make it even harder, and maybe ask to take it a day or weekend at a time before deciding on doing 'fun' things. Try to organise your thoughts and know what your needs and wants are when you speak to him, so you can communicate constructively.

Good luck <3

[This message edited by selfrespect911 at 9:08 PM, March 31st (Monday)]

BS 26
WH 32
Nov-?? A with his Ex

EA DDay: 31 Jan, I moved to in-laws
PA DDAY: 23 Feb
DDay 3: 13 May. Back in A.

9 Mar: I moved back. A went underground.
9 Apr: He moved into parents.
14 Apr: Me NC with WH.

Posts: 148 | Registered: Mar 2014 | From: UK
♂ 41927
Member # 41927
Default  Posted: 10:52 PM, March 31st (Monday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Yup. This month. March 17th to be exact was the one year aniversary for D-day #1. In a few weeks, April 20th, will be the aniversary for D-day #2. These two months have been torture.

Luckily for my a ended the horrible torture that was limbo. Thats where you are. All the obsessions, visions, worries, and so on. Dates floating around in your head. Nope not for me.

End it. You wont regret it.

BH: 36 (me)
WS: 31 / OM: 31
Son: 12
Affair: 1.5 year long 2012
ONS with stranger Feb 2013
D-day #1 March 2013
D-day #2 April 2013
D-day #3 Sept 2013
Affair continued.
Limbo 7 months
Moved out - 180D - NC
A over. Defogged. Trying R

Posts: 212 | Registered: Jan 2014 | From: Tampa Florida
Topic Posts: 3

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