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Mini lies - what is the f'ing point??

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alleyk posted 4/1/2014 00:58 AM

I just had a moment of clarity, so to speak...

I took a look at my WHs phone and he has snapped a photo of a social media post he was in. It was *totally* harmless. No reason to lie about why he may have seen it already. And yet, when I brought up the picture and said "look, did you see this?", he responded like he had not seen it at all. Like it was the first time ever. Ummm ... what? Was he trying to make me feel good, like I was the first to discover it, or is he hiding something?? It seems so goddamn innocent, and yet I will never never never never believe he has innocence like that ever again. Maybe a blessing, maybe a curse.

On another note, has anyone worked on R while secretly planning an exit? I feel like these little everyday things (that I used to think were NOTHING) are now EVERYTHING, and every one I encounter I look deep and hard into the meaning (maybe there isn't one?). I don't know anymore!!

Even so, when my WH is away for work this month, I'm seeing a lawyer. I want to be so on top of all my rights should I need/want to make a move towards D.

Areukiddingme posted 4/1/2014 02:14 AM

I know exactly what you mean. I dissect EVERYTHING now. Like you, I truly don't understand the point of lies about things that are really not that important. Im not sure if you can R while coming up with an exit plan, but when it comes to protecting yourself, I think having a Plan B is not a bad idea. For me, lies are the hardest part of all this to overcome. I could get over the sex...all that takes is an erection...but continued lying to me seems more like a lack of respect. And I'm not sure what the truth is anymore; very unsettling.

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