My anniversary situation is almost identical with yours, Harry.
This January was the year since our first DDay and anniv. within the same week.
I spoke with him in advance and told him I was planning a trip away from our house to get his mind off things.
Prior to the trip, he had told me from the beginning that our anniversary and vows were dead to him and he never wanted to celebrate that day again (my PA was 3 days after our anniv) and I actually agreed with him. If and when he decides to fully R with me, I want nothing either to do with any dates that tore our marriage apart.
Once I talked to him and told him I had arranged some R+R away from the house that was in no way related to those dates, he said it truly helped get his mind off what would of been triggers for him at home.
He later told me it was a nice refresher that brought us closer together and gave him a safe, private time alone to talk about the year prior without distractions of work, kids, life and helped him focus talking with me about his expectations and needs from me.
Talk to her first, throw some ideas around, let her know you are thinking of her and want to support her in whatever way she wants to approach it. Hope this helps.
[This message edited by wheredoigo at 10:08 PM, April 1st (Tuesday)]