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sparkle09 posted 4/3/2014 23:04 PM

The last 2 days have been utter hell. My H is so unstable and I feel like I'm losing him more and more everyday. He refuses to acknowledge his Bipolar diagnosis but is taking meds. He can be the sweetest most kind loving apologetic man until I bring up my feelings or Anything ab the affair. He completely shuts down on me. He turns cold heartless, threatens to leave, and says I will never get over it so what's the point. I want my marriage but I refuse to be the only one fighting for it! He made the damn MC appt now he is telling me he is not going!

I told him I want a D tonight!! I'm sick of crying and trying to make him understand he is so lost right now I don't think I will ever have the man I loved back for good! I feel like I have to let him go for my own sanity. This is do damn hard! I hate this!

Caretaker1 posted 4/4/2014 00:00 AM

Being married to a bipolar person is going to involve this roller coaster. Learn all you can......take deep breaths ....divorce is ugly and costly. If you are willing to forgive his transgressions and see a future...take it slow. Continue to go the counseling whether he wants to or not. Learn your triggers and his. There are many support groups for people who are spouses of bipolar people.

Lionne posted 4/4/2014 14:57 PM

I think you need to give yourself permission to leave the marriage if things don't change. I get the whole "sickness and health" issue, I do, but there comes a point where you have to choose your own health. Being married to a mentally ill person who isn't doing what they can to get well is harmful to you.

Is his medication working?his he seeing a good psychiatrist for that? This is the first step, and that often requires time to sort out. Once meds are optimal, counseling is more effective as his brain chemistry will function in a way that makes interactions more comfortable. He should also be seeing an IC, as generally, psychiatrists don't do a good job of that.

It took a fairly long time for my SAFWHs meds to kick in. We didn't do MC for quite a long time. But his attitude of remorse was apparent very soon. IC helped me to achieve a necessary level of detachment.

FixYou71 posted 4/5/2014 00:20 AM

It seems he is not participating in R at all. Without that I agree you should separate from him. I'm so sorry he is not exhibiting the remorse he should and not being the source of comfort to you that you need so badly. ((Sparkle09))