Please help me.
R is going really well I would say. Apart from the fact that DH sometimes gets angry (he is a firey person) and I have known this for as long as I have known him, however these days if he does have a rant (not about me but about anything) then I start to wonder if he is really a monster and am I doing the right thing.
Anyway, that's not the main point of my post. DH and I are working really hard on R and it's going well.. We have had many days from hell and they still come but these days we have some good days too and we are much more connected than pre d day.
A problem I would say that I have is that I am completely obsessed with the OW. Now I think this is quite normal, right? And I have been from d day but I would say that as R is getting better my obsession is getting worse! I stalk we Facebook and Twitter account and I would do anything in my power to stalk her further. My therapist advised me to try to stop this and I did for a week and I felt much better but them I've gone back to it and obsessively. I am able to talk to DH about it and about how I do it but don't want to. He just tries to listen. Why am I doing this and has anyone else experienced this and come out of the other side realising that it's for the best to put her behind you.
DH tells me that he never wants to see her again and I think if he did he would find it hard because when e did some months back he had panic attacks (he felt scared he would get back into the affair - he worked with his therapist on this and then later understood it was all just triggers of the memory)..
Any advise would be most appreciated.
x xMe - BS (38)
Him - WS (40)
D day 9/9/2013
DD (still born 2007) DS - 5 & DS - 3
Trying to Reconcile