If you want them to quit stabbing you in the back, then you need to quit handing them the knife.
To me, there is a difference in wanting to date and wanting to get laid. Getting laid is easy, takes minimal effort and doesn't necessarily involve emotions. Advertise for a fuckbuddy and keep it simple until you are ready for an actual relationship.
There's also a difference between wanting to date and wanting a relationship. FWB/FB isn't for everyone, and certainly doesn't ensure against emotional entanglement. As long as she is honest that she isn't looking for anything serious I don't see the harm.
Advertise for a fuckbuddy and keep it simple until you are ready for an actual relationship.
The big problem with this approach is that it just adds way more baggage to your already complicated life. With each new partner comes a new bond that needs to be broken and more hurts as you will inevitably become attached to some along the way.
Be very careful out there. What starts out as fun and casual can oftentimes end in tears and misery.
I know that there is always the possibility of getting attached. I'm looking to casually date. Certainly if something real comes around I will not push it away, you never know when "real" love will happen by you. God knows that what I had before was not real love. If I eventually fall in love with a great guy, FANTASTIC!!! If not and I have some fun casually dating, that's fine by me as well:)
How many dates will you go on with a guy before you end it? How far will you go physically without some sort of commitment or exclusivity in place, since you don't want a FB or a relationship? How long must you date someone to find your own magical place between those two things you don't want where you're comfortable sleeping with them? What do you plan on doing when you start feeling attached to someone even though you know he's not up to the standards you ought to have for yourself?
Just make sure you've thought through this stuff before you get enmeshed and hurt some nice guy who really likes you just because you want an ego boost but don't have what you need to actually invest in someone right now (and I agree that at this point in time, you probably don't).
ETA: I say this all from personal experience and mistakes I made along the way. It's not just random. Please learn from my mistakes instead of repeating them.
[This message edited by Amazonia at 6:00 AM, April 5th (Saturday)]
[This message edited by Caretaker1 at 8:37 PM, April 6th (Sunday)]
The AP sometimes marry each other so why not date?
Because the last people you should learn from or imitate are cheaters. Just because cheaters are stupid enough to do it doesn't mean you should go out and date asap. Most cheaters can't be alone because they need the external validation and constant ego kibbles. Hardly a healthy example to follow (and I promise you very rarely, if ever, a healthy/good relationship.)
Amazonia had some very wise advice.