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Well... it's over.

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debi9kids posted 4/4/2014 18:18 PM

3 1/2 years ago he cheated.
Had a baby with the woman.
He chose our family and for 3 years it's been "good". (at times trying, but good)

10 months ago things started to go sour.
It immediately made me assume he was cheating again.
He stopped touching me and started with the insults "you're too fat", "too ugly", "you just don't turn me on".

We started counseling together again.
And were making progress.
Until last week when he decided to just end it all.

I checked his phone records and he is talking to her again.
I have no idea how long it's been going on and nothing he says matters anymore.
He's a flat-out LIAR.

And my heart is still broken.
Because I'm apparently a HUGE doormat.

Never thought I would be dealing with this crap.

I'm definitely in the VERY early stages of grief because I'm a freakin mess.
I'm pissed one second and bawling the next.
I have ZERO desire to eat but shove a bottle of alcohol in front of me and I would down that sucker (I'm not. I know better, but still...)

I know it's all baby steps but this is just plain old bullshit

nowiknow23 posted 4/4/2014 18:34 PM

Oh, honey. I'm so very sorry. ((((((debi9kids))))))

What an ass. What a blameshifting, abusive ass. You are NOT a doormat - you are a woman who has been fighting for her marriage. He's a lying, cheating, false R fronting jackass. And he does NOT deserve you.

Sending you strength for the journey ahead and comfort for the pain you are feeling. There are far better days ahead of you, honey. I promise.

((((more hugs))))

courageous posted 4/4/2014 18:53 PM

I'm so sorry. I know it hurts a lot. You are NOT a doormat. You are a very strong woman who gave a lying, cheating, a-hole a precious gift of a second chance. He doesn't deserve you.

You know that he is insulting you because he needs to cut you down to make himself feel better.... You are not fat or ugly. He is ugly...inside and out.


Leia posted 4/4/2014 19:00 PM

So sorry for your pain. Like the others, he isn't worth you and it says a lot about you to give your marriage a second chance. Remember when he's cutting you down, that it is more lies from a liar. Lots of hugs.

HurtsButImOK posted 4/4/2014 19:03 PM

(((Hugs, hugs and more hugs)))

So very sorry you find yourself here after giving him the gift of R. Try and take care of yourself and your babies. You deserve better.

SadInNC posted 4/4/2014 20:20 PM

Hi debi9kids. You are NOT a doormat. He IS a lying, cheating asshole. I'm so sorry for your pain.


freeatlast72 posted 4/4/2014 20:33 PM

Screw him!! He is a LIAR and a cheater!

No contact his ASS!

tryingagain74 posted 4/4/2014 20:38 PM

I'm sorry. We're here for you.


nekorb posted 4/4/2014 21:43 PM

He stopped touching me and started with the insults "you're too fat", "too ugly", "you just don't turn me on".

FTG. Are you kidding me right now? How the hell did you get nine kids if you can't turn your husband on?

Lying, cheating jerk. Blame shifting abusive...wait - I love that line in NatureGirl's sig...abusive troglodyte...yes. We may have to borrow that from her.

(((Debi9kid))). I'm so sorry things have ended up this way for you. You did your best. You can't do it for both of you.

Lawyer up, honey.

Oh - and water. Drink your water. Leave the alcohol where it is. No. EAT whether you want to or not. It will get better.

[This message edited by nekorb at 9:44 PM, April 4th (Friday)]

Kajem posted 4/4/2014 21:59 PM


Life will get better... I promise!

Till then, know that we care!


hexed posted 4/4/2014 22:08 PM


i'm so sorry!

i'm going to be practical for a minute. get yourself to the lawyer on monday. if there are OC you need to file for CS immediately.

RedWheelBarrow posted 4/5/2014 02:04 AM

Ugh. So sorry. What a loser! What a fucking loser. He has another chance with you, and his kids, and he blows it again.
He sucks.
What helped me in the early days, practically-speaking, was smoothies. I made them, I bought them, people brought them to me. I could not seem to *chew* food at all for maybe 2 months - but I could suck down a 700 calorie banana-almond smoothie, or whatever other flavor. It kept me alive, and healthy-ish.

Gemini71 posted 4/5/2014 02:13 AM

Slim-Fast or other nutrition shakes work well. Just make sure they have some nutrients in them to help keep you going.


Vulcanized posted 4/5/2014 02:35 AM


I'm sorry you are dealing w/such a colossal FT.

Slim Fast is good, Ensure is good, oatmeal is also easy to get down (and if you are a puker, easy to get back up).

(((more hugs)))


Williesmom posted 4/5/2014 18:09 PM


I'm sorry.

thenon-goddess posted 4/5/2014 18:35 PM

Hey Debi, I have checked in on you on "the other board" a couple of times, but didn't expect this update. I'm so sorry to read this. Is he still living at home?

debi9kids posted 4/8/2014 12:02 PM

@thenon-goddess He is for now. UGH
2 nights a week he is in PA but he's looking for his own place now. Thank God.

Thank you everyone for food suggestions.
I've been living off of Cream of Wheat and Slim Fast.

As time goes by I definitely realize I am SO much better off without him.

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