My H bounces back and forth from being supportive to being frustrated over how I am feeling. I know that is not helping my recovery.
I haven't been posting much but I still read here quite a bit. I've honestly been reading in the Wayward forums most of all. I want to understand the mindset. I want to understand. That's something I haven't reached yet.
“I can see the sun, but even if I cannot see the sun, I know that it exists. And to know that the sun is there - that is living.” - Dostoyevsky
I'm 10 days from my 2 year antiversary. I understand exactly how you are feeling.
We will probably never understand why/how they did what they did. We just need to try to accept that it happened.
I have felt numb for the past day. I was an emotional wreck all week and was actually worse on Wednesday (d-day was a Wednesday) than I was on the actual date.
When everything went down it was basically a week of just horrific events and I've been mentally reliving that.
I'm starting to feel like I'm waiting for something that will never come. This understanding I've been seeking. Some type of justice. The karma bus to strike. I just feel like I was crushed and they walked away free and clear and that just doesn't sit well with me.