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What is drama?

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tabitha95 posted 4/4/2014 19:50 PM

I see on OLD profiles and hear from men on dates that they are looking for women without "drama".

I have a few friends that I know create and love drama. But what does it mean in a relationship?

I'm not being naïve, I just wonder how to define such a broad description.

Does anyone claim to be a drama queen?

jemimapd posted 4/4/2014 20:46 PM

I think on the surface it means no throwing plates at the wall.

But.... I can imagine my ex writing this and what he would mean by no drama is something quite different: let me do what I want to do, when I want to do it and don't complain or expect me to change my plans or anything about me. I want things all my own way.

It would put me off if I read this in a profile because it comes across as quite negative and patronizing?

cmego posted 4/4/2014 22:03 PM

To me it means that they don't want to hear about what your ex is constantly doing and how much you hate them. How there is ALWAYS drama about everything. Over the top emotions about EVERYTHING. Your family, your job, your cat.

It could also mean they don't like being told what to do, but I don't instantly take it as a negative.

I don't like to be around constant drama either. If the guy does nothing but talk about what a witch his ex is, and "You'll never guess what she did NOW??!!" and whiny about everything…then I'm out. I just can't take the over the top emotions about everything. It has nothing to do with me being left alone/told what to do. It just means by the time I'm dating you, I think the majority of the drama of your past is DONE and you don't create new drama.

That is why I stay away from separated guys, too much drama going on at the end of a marriage.

Rainbows posted 4/7/2014 08:49 AM

I know people who I'd consider drama and they're the ones who complain or have an opinion about everything.

Someone is always out to get them, they're always getting screwed over somehow, and nothing ever goes their way. Starbucks never gets their order right, the waiter brought the wrong thing, their boss plays favorites, never ending health problems, etc.

With drama people everything is an issue and there's always an problem. We all complain from time to time, but drama people do it all the time, it's their state of being.

It's really draining for me to be around drama people. I usually distance myself and cut them out.

Weatherly posted 4/7/2014 09:48 AM

When i was doing OLD, it seemed like the guys who felt it necessary to say they didn't want drama were the ones who had the most of it.

Their ex's screwed them over.

Their boss hates them.

Their car broke down.

The bank "accidentally" made a withdrawal and that's why you have to buy dinner.

Etc.

I'm guessing it means YOU aren't allowed to have or talk about any of those types of problems.

Crescita posted 4/7/2014 11:39 AM

What Weatherly said. Run from people who have to advertise their aversion to drama. They are drama and everyone who disagrees with them will be labelled as such.

absolut posted 4/7/2014 11:48 AM

agree with two above.

Nobody likes a bunch of craziness in their life. If he feels the need to put it out there... something is very off.

On a side note, I once dated a guy who would say "I don't do drama" or "I don't do arguments" etc as a way to shut down any kind of disagreement from me. He acted pretty outlandishly, would make plans for us without checking with me first etc. One time he arranged a nice dinner at a hotel for us, and then I overheard him on the phone right before we were leaving inviting a couple he knew I couldn't stand (they were rude to me). When I said something, I was picking a fight, drama, etc. So yeah I think it's often just a guy who just wants the good parts of a relationship.

trumanshow posted 4/8/2014 07:35 AM

They want the screwing and fun


Any legitimate concerns or real-life intrusion will be "drama"

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