ღ♥¸¸.•*´¯`♥ღ LOVE HURTS ღ♥¸¸.•*´¯`♥ღ
It's been such a long time since I posted here, but this morning I think it's the best place for me to turn.
Since DD (Dec 27, 2011) I've come so far.
7 months waiting for BH to 'talk' about what he had done with in-house separation during that time, which included him continuing to see her a few nights a week but lying of course, telling me he was meeting his best friend XXX.
I filed for D at this time, which was followed by an additional 6 months of in house separation, before he moved into a rented house in Jan 2013.
He continued to see her and they are still together.
Her parents bought a house and WS and the OW have moved in together since Jan 2014 - with her 3 children now aged 7, 11 & 13.
Meanwhile, I have been left in our family house, trying to sell it and maintain it all this time. The market is slow and to date we have had just 2 viewings. He has continued to pay his half of the mortgage, which a big relief, but he has on a few occasions mentioned that he won't be able to continue. So far it's been ok.
Not that I'm bothered, but it's likely he is living with her rent free whilst she feels sorry for him.
I broke contact with his mother about a year ago when she sent me a text pretty much saying goodbye. It included "I didn't want things to turn out this way", "I don't wish you any harm", "I've heard so much from other people, non family members" suggesting I was spreading gossip, "it's breaking up my family and making me I'll and I don't need this" ... painting her son as a victim and me as breaking up her family because he and one of his sisters aren't speaking.
I have remained friendly with his youngest sister because we were best friends before all this and she has been there for me throughout. As have I when she has had problems (losing a baby). The reason they don't talk is because he also slept with her life long friend who told her about it and she told me. He is angry that she did that and no doubt afraid to face her about it. After all, he has refused all this time to speak to me about the breakdown of our marriage, leaving me to find closure all by myself. I find that part impossible.
Last night I went out with my SIL and after quite a few glasses of wine, she told me that she had had a big argument with her mother a few months ago. She said her mother tried to tell her that my WS had suffered so much when he was with me. She apparently listed off a whole list of things I was supposed to have done. The only one she told me about when I asked what kind of things she had said was that I HAD LOCKED FOOD AWAY FROM HIM!
I can't quite believe what she said and this morning am still scratching my head at why anyone would make up something so ludicrous. It's quite frankly pathetic and it's worse to think that someone would actually believe that. I even found myself thinking did I? But I remember throughout it all, I kept on offering him dishes that I made that were in the fridge. I used to feel mean making a shepherds pie or casserole and not offering him any. He always refused.
The thing is, even though he is a liar, I can't imagine him saying this to his mother. She has always told me that he won't open up to her, so I can't see him saying it.
My SIL told me that she put her foot down with her mother and told her that she was quite capable of making her own mind up about things and that she did not see her brothers situation the way her mother did. Her mother also told her that nobody from their town would bother with me now and named a few people who had disowned me. What???? Unfortunately for her, she named a couple who have remained my friends and we meet up regularly, sometimes together with my SIL, so there was no way she could believe this. Sort of proved my MIL to be a liar too.
I have a sneaky suspicion it may be the OW filling my MIL's head with nastiness about me. I really don't know.
The bad thing is, I can't defend myself because I can't mention the fact that my SIL has told me this.
I hate that the problems seem to keep on coming, even though I had done everything I can to detach from them.
DD 1: 27/12/11
DD 2: 16/04/12
Me: 49 (now 50)
WS: 44 (now 45)
OW: 33 (now 34)
Status: Divorcing / Selling our House