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Wow boy! I have been really good at controlling my emotions over the last couple months, but last night I lost it.

WBF and I were invited to dinner at a friends house that we haven't seen in quite some time. Unfortunately, the ONLY way to get to their house (literally) is to pass OW house (friends house and OW house are only about 5 min apart), and this is where WBF and OW were physical.

Obviously I knew this before we agreed to go, but I thought I'd be fine.

WBF and I had to take separate cars because our friends car had been at our place so WBF could work on it, and we were dropping it off as well.

I lost it.

The whole time I was thinking that this was the drive he took to see OW, and how it was 30 god damn minutes away...he had all that time to realize the mistake he was making...to change his mind...but he didn't.

It made me immensely sad...

I did discuss it with WBF on the way home (now we are in the same car) and he apologized, but he really just doesn't get it. He tried just talking about every day things instead. I cried quietly to myself.

I haven't had a trigger like this in a while, and it just hurts so bad.

I hear you! Same here...of course they had MANY times for such reflections....they did not...how stupid.

I am finding that it does not help ME to discuss at this point. Nothing can be changed and it does not calm my emotions but only gets them going...and then that is bad for ME.

But it is hard to then have to do these emotions by myself so I am thinking of talking to the therapist again. She can listen to all my bad thoughts and triggers and help me come to terms with it all...he can't...at least for me.

triggers are hard...sharing with him these triggers are hard....doing it on my own is hard...talking to the therapist about them is ALSO hard (emotions get triggered AGAIN) it is all quite challenging...

I guess I don't have any thing really to say, just to say you are not alone...that DOES help a bit doesn't it!

[This message edited by morethantrying at 11:34 PM, April 5th (Saturday)]