We are in limbo.
I was in love with my husband for decades. You know how folks say that romantic, "in love feelings" don't last? That wasn't true for me. I still felt passionately about him after 23 years - romantically and sexually.
But when I discovered continued lying and cheating last fall, I felt I had no choice but to emotionally detach. At first it was so painful. I cried every day for months, ... it felt like grieving a death.
Recently I began to feel so much better. Still emotionally detached but I feel empowered by it. Like I have discovered how to not need him,how to be happy with myself without a romantic partner.
My question is this: when I think about romantic love or even sexual attraction, it seems like a delusion to me now. Like Santa Claus. I can remember feeling those feelings, but am repulsed by them now. (Either for him or any other potential partner in the future.)
Will that ever change? Or is this emotional detachment (and desire to stay that way permanently) last forever? By the way, it feels good this way! I feel safe and good about myself now.