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vent--marriage bed

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WinterBranch posted 4/5/2014 15:31 PM

I guess I am an unfeeling wretch, but I am so not considering reconciliation. Marriage bedding went to Goodwill today. Marriage bed is on the side of the road "free to good home" sign on it. I'd burn it in a Southern voo-doo/Christian ceremony, aka YaYa Sisterhood, but I know any marshmallows or hotdogs roasted upon THAT fire would be unsafe or at the least cursed, despite the whole organic cotton thing.

nowiknow23 posted 4/5/2014 17:05 PM

The fact that you are not considering R does not make you unfeeling and certainly not a wretch. Sometimes the path ahead is very clear from the beginning. Mine was. And yours seems to be, too.

Purge that bad mojo however you need to and keep walking forward, Winter.

WinterBranch posted 4/5/2014 17:41 PM

Thanks again, NIK. Today's my first day off in 3 weeks, and I'm-a getting out what I gotta. It's hard, but there's a little piece of me, somewhere outside of the situation, that sees the dark humor.

For example, *****warning---TMI***** I've also dissembled the "toy" used in marriage into as many small pieces as I can with a pair of scissors and a screw-driver...then packaged up the approximately 1/132 size pieces in individual plastic grocery bags originally saved to house cat feces from the litter pan... and I am slowly placing those bags into subsequent bags of kitchen garbage so no one could ever piece those 132 parts together and go "THAT is a v______r! For shame," in my very small town...and I REALLY enjoy this process. Suggestions as to the appropriate thread for my sick-humored self here at SI?

'Cause I'm gonna have to laugh to get through this whole.

Bless you, NIK, for paying attention to the rantings of an off-centered, under-attack, determined-to-survive, crazy person.

whiteflower99 posted 4/5/2014 17:45 PM

You're not crazy, Winterbranch. And you're not fragile like a winter branch either.
Time to sprout new growth and bloom.
Just remember this isn't a sprint and if you find yourself sad or depressed later on it is ok. That's one of the hardest things I've had to do, try to be easy on me for being sad.

Flatlined123 posted 4/5/2014 17:53 PM

I can't say as I blame you one bit. I knew from a very early time after dday I wanted to at least try R.

I destroyed plenty of stuff. H didn't have AP in our bed, but I got rid of the bedding too. We got a new bed. Totally changed the bedroom to make it different. I can't tell you why I felt the need to do that, but I did.

H lost a lot of clothes because I just felt the need and I knew he had been with AP in them.

We have successfully R. I won't say completely because I feel like it will always be a work in progress for us.

You do what you feel like you need to.

WinterBranch posted 4/5/2014 18:17 PM

whiteflower...I feel sadness, too. This is just my way of being sad. I am WinterBranch because shortly after DDay, an icestorm destroyed the pine tree in my yard, planted by my FIL, who died long before I knew my WH. All night long (just a few nights after my WH had a violent midnight visit and I changed the locks) I listened to those branches breaking like gunshots and was too scared to get out of bed to check it out. I still haven't removed those branches, because when I walk the yard and smell the fresh-pine smell, I think of renewal, instead of the dread I felt that night.

When the dogwood tree beside it blooms white, as it surely will very soon, I'll think of you. Thanks for your support.

ShellyShell posted 4/5/2014 18:21 PM

Well one thing my IC pressed on me is that you feel the way you feel, your brain will do what it has to do to work through the situation. There is no right or wrong! So screw it. New beds are super comfy anyway. LOL

WinterBranch posted 4/5/2014 18:22 PM

Flatlined...it's good to hear of reconciliations...makes me feel good. With my devil-ears on, it's also get to hear of post-DDay destructors...makes me feel less alone! For the record, if reconciliation was possible in this situation, I'd totally be grabbing it! Sadly, it's not.

kiki1 posted 4/5/2014 18:22 PM

i replaced the marriage bed too. and mine also lost some of his clothing.

infidelity is crazy making stuff.

hugs winterbranch

WinterBranch posted 4/5/2014 18:24 PM

New beds are AWESOME! (Super-bad 80's guitar riff here, vis-a-vis Wayne's World) And mine's just big enough for me and the furballs. Party on!

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