So, I hate the anniversary.
But what I have done is claim Valentines Day for myself. It was out of the A range, and has nothing to do with OW. I plan a big trip for us ALONE every year. We usually go to a beach somewhere and have lots of love and fun. It is the highlight of my otherwise crappy marriage.
Maybe you could find a different Day to celebrate?
Our wedding anniversary is just 5 days after D-day, so early in R I felt like you did.
For these special days (and yes, they are still special and should be celebrated), you should try to push ahead, enjoy yourself, and make an attempt to get back to normal; even if it's just for that one day. I know that's a tough thing to do, but it helps to make the current and future anniversaries as pleasurable as possible, which starts the process of reclaiming your wedding anniversary as something special again.
In June, my wife and I will be celebrating our 30th anniversary. I have made plans for Hawaii, and we leave on d-day. After 7 years of R, D-day is nothing more than a painful memory. I can guarantee you, D-day (or anything regarding the affair) will not ruin one little thing with the romantic anniversary vacation I have planned. I'm confident my wife will be very pleased.
Our Wedding anniversary is coming up in a couple of weeks too, & I will not be celebrating.
In 2011 , at our anniversary dinner in a restaurant , WH was texting OW----that was a few weeks before Dday.
If WH wants to acknowledge the # of years of our relationship, is ok with me to celebrate the day we met. But lets not forget that for part of that time, he was not in our marriage, he was in a relationship with OW.
I'd be happy just to let it slide past. He thinks it should be celebrated - he senses that I'm not enthusiastic, but when he asked whether I just wanted to ignore it, I couldn't say yes.
Why couldn't you say yes?
If you're not feelin' it, you're not feelin' it. IMO, this should be talked about. I think it would be much worse to fake celebrating something that you don't want to celebrate. Maybe after taking about it, you'll feel better and want to do something. But if not, don't.
"Your value doesn't decrease based on someone's inability to see your worth." -Unknown Wise Person
Our 10th anniversary is in a couple weeks and the first since DD. I am actually going to probably pull the kids out of school for the day and head to my parents early for Easter break. fWH has to work nights anyways.
Last year, was in the middle of the affair. We spent the night celebrating with OW, her BS, her mom and her kids. It was her mom's birthday too.
For v-day this year, it was blah too. We went to a high school basketball game to watch his niece. Last year, he spent with OW snowmobiling with our son.
I had my wedding ring inspected for its warranty. (I have to have it inspected every 6 months.) I hadn't worn it for a couple years since I gained weight. Now it is ironic that I have lost almost 30 lbs so my wedding ring fits again, but I don't want to wear it.
[This message edited by myeverafter at 12:57 PM, April 7th (Monday)]
He gave all that away when he decided to screw me over....maybe one day we will celebrate it again
As far as wedding rings, mine doesn't hold the special meaning it once did. I wear it only as a symbol that I am still married. Especially after finding out that the OW's wedding ring is identical to mine (only my diamond is bigger)
If what doesn't kill me makes me stronger, then I must be wonder woman!!!
If trials build character,then I'm animated.
I had to accept the "old marriage" was ended, why would i celebrate it?
He makes no attempt to make it a special day, i dont see any reason to. And i really think he should.
Meh, just another fun little consequence of infidelity.
Dday was March 5. My 22nd anniversary will be on April 25. And I am feeling sick already, knowing that the last six times we have "celebrated", WH was texting his slunt the details of our evenings and planning when to f*ck her next.
We have non-refundable theater tickets, purchased months before I knew about the A. After reading a variety of responses on SI and other forums, I decided to go ahead and attend the show with him. WH is committed to R, and working hard to show me that he has changed. Maybe doing something enjoyable together will help create positive feelings. If we do R, it could be the FIRST anniversary of a new marriage.
And if it turns out to be the LAST anniversary we ever spend together, at least I will remember it.
Please wish me strength.