So glad I could post here. The mental images were by far the WORST part of it. A torture that I couldn't escape from and I felt like no one understood. I felt like if I knew exactly what happened, blow by blow, it would be easier than what my mind could imagine. I constantly found myself quizzing my spouse with the same questions and it practically drove him crazy also, but here's the good news.....
It Doesn't Last Forever.
You Wont Always Feel This Way.
There Will Be A Day When You Don't Think About This At All!
It's been almost 3 years, and I can truly say that it was the worst thing I have ever had to deal with, but now, I don't think about them, or her, at all. It doesn't invade my every waking moment, it doesn't define my life or my marriage. In fact it really feels now like something that happened to someone else, and not me at all.
If he is repentant, you will know by how he acts. And if you both are willing, then by all means, push through this. It took, for me, about a few months until it wasn't on my mind every minute. Then about a year until I only thought about it once or twice a day. A little more time ... once every few weeks, and now very rarely do I think of it, and if so, its more like a fact then a feeling. You will be OK. You will be yourself again. You will be able to help scrape others off the floor someday too, and be thankful that you made it out. Praying for you.