Hello to all. First of all I just want to say I hurt so badly for everyone here, this is the kind of site no one wants to find themselves searching for.
I've been lurking since DDay and finally decided to share my story.
We are almost 3 months out from DDay. Which was January 11, 2014 at exactly 7:34 am......it was a Saturday..... I can still feel that overwhelming feeling of panic rushing through my body.
I am 24 years old and WH is 28 (today is his birthday....) we have been together for 6 years and married for 3. We have 2 children.
I thought we had the perfect marriage. We knew each other in school and had been friends, he tried to turn the relationship into something more hut I wasn't interested then. Well my senior year in high school after about 2 years of not talking to him since he graduated he found me through social network and it all began there. We were madly in love and I moved in with him 2 months later. He proposed to me on Christmas of that year. We had kids got married and things had been great.
Well in December of 2013 things started getting hectic around our house. I'm in school to become a respiratory therapist and school was very stressful for me as it is for most especially balancing 2 kids and a home and a husband who works on an oil rig so he is gone every other week. Adding my 17 year old brother to it all who was living with us at the time.
My husband got laid off from his job( super stressful in itself especially so close to Christmas) and my brother got a very severe case of pneumonia. I was stressed to the max trying to deal with everything. Then our 3 year old caught the flu..where I live the flu was killing people left and right....it was the worst flu season in since the swine flu first showed up...I was a mess dealing with everything. I suffer from severe anxiety and panic disorder so this just made me feel like I was losing control.
He mentioned something to me in passing one day about wishing I could spend more time with him and love on him more.....I told him I was sorry I was just so stressed about school,him being laid off, kids being sick. Just everything was so crazy but I would be better. I genuinely felt horrible that I had neglected him to the point that he felt like I didn't love him.
So after a couple days of meds our son got better and I felt like I could settle down just a little bit. And then it hit me how much I missed my husband and just wanted to be in his arms. I came up to him from behind and started kissing his neck and just holding him.....HE GOT MAD AND PUSHED ME AWAY. he told me that it aggravated him that now all of a sudden I wanted to love on him. Red flag #1 that I didn't see then because I felt so guilty that I had made him feel that way.
Anyway after a few days of persistence he finally started to give back and we had the best 2 weeks together that we've had in along time.
He got called back into work on January 9th. That was a Thursday he was to start work the next day in Saturday. So he left late Friday night. The rig was 3 hours away. Well that night he left we were in the phone when he got to the rig and he kept trying to get off the phone for stupid little reasons and I could hear him texting...he just tried to say I was hearing the air conditioner.... So I just blew it off because I've always trusted my husband.
So he gets off the phone saying that he is just dead tired and has to get back in to the routine of work blah blah so we get off the phone at 10 pm. I felt a little uneasy but just blamed it on the stress of everything and it was no big deal I knew he had to have been tired.
Saturday morning I woke in a panic and in that instant I opened my eyes I knew things would never be the same. I don't know what it was...intuition slapping me in the face I guess, so I immediately logged on to the cell phone account and there it a was. Hundreds of texts, picture messages and calls to a phone number that is out of this area code.
He always txt me as soon as he wakes up for work at 5 am that he loves me and he hopes I have a good day.
He txt me that exact txt at 5:20 am and txt OW at 5:21.....yayyyy I should feel so special he text me first
He wasn't gonna come home until Sunday night and there was no way I could wait to confront him. So I txt him saying that it was funny that he was just so tired last night at 10 that we had to gy off the phone but he continues txt and calls to this number until midnight.
His first response: why the hell are you looking at my phone log......WOW.
anyways he comes out and tells me that it's nothing serious just an old married lady that he talks to that gives him marriage advice. Bahahahahahaha he so sorry he's so stupid what has he done yada yada same thing I'm sure most of us hear.
Turns out she is only 32 and married with 2 children and their conversations have been about wayyyyy morethan my marriage. It was about how much they loved each other and wanted to meet up somehow ( she lives 10 hours away)
He went NC immediately. I txt her and she had the balls to say to me "do worries it was all talk nothin physical and he's all yours!!!!" WHAT??????
Anyways to make a long story short he came home is doing all the right things and we've been to MC.
There's so much more to the story but this is about all I can handle at this time
I'm so lost and hurt and confused even 3 months out
And by the way I found out about all this 2 days before the start of my last semester in college!
I'm sorry this was so long but it felt good to be able to get a little bit out. I think I'm still in shock........