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Newest Member: 321maison

New Beginnings :
Met a good one

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 phmh (original poster member #34146) posted at 2:11 AM on Monday, April 7th, 2014

I had my approximately 40th first date today. I will admit that I was very lax on my initial screening -- especially in the beginning -- as I wanted to give everyone a chance and wasn't really sure how to date.

So I wasted a lot of time and money. (I was on free sites, but felt terrible making the guy pay when there was no future so I usually paid at least my half, if not the entire amount.)

I had a great first date today. Of course I don't know how things will turn out, but I am very much encouraged.

I could see things going far with this one.

Super excited!

And what's so funny is I was running home from work on Friday and realized that I was the happiest that I'd ever been in my life. That possibly I would just be single and see what happens. And then this date happened.

Me: BW, divorced, now fabulous and happy!

Married: 11 years, no kids

Character is destiny

posts: 4993   ·   registered: Dec. 8th, 2011
id 6750455
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cayc ( member #21964) posted at 2:20 AM on Monday, April 7th, 2014

yay for great first dates!

posts: 3446   ·   registered: Dec. 8th, 2008   ·   location: Mexico
id 6750466
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Williesmom ( member #22870) posted at 2:25 AM on Monday, April 7th, 2014

Yay! Keep us posted

You can stuff your sorries in a sack, mister. -George Costanza
There is a special place in hell for women who don't help other women. - Madeleine Albright

posts: 9299   ·   registered: Feb. 15th, 2009   ·   location: Western PA
id 6750474
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cmego ( member #30346) posted at 2:58 AM on Monday, April 7th, 2014

Woo HOO!!

me...BS, 46 years old.
Divorced

posts: 4745   ·   registered: Dec. 9th, 2010   ·   location: South
id 6750517
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cmego ( member #30346) posted at 2:59 AM on Monday, April 7th, 2014

*apparently I was so excited for you I posted it twice*

[This message edited by cmego at 9:00 PM, April 6th (Sunday)]

me...BS, 46 years old.
Divorced

posts: 4745   ·   registered: Dec. 9th, 2010   ·   location: South
id 6750518
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PurpleRose ( member #33129) posted at 3:28 AM on Monday, April 7th, 2014

Yeah for a great first date! I am glad to see so much positive news here lately!

divorced the Dooosh 8/13
*****************************
Dance like nobody is watching,
Text and email like it will be used in court someday...

posts: 3871   ·   registered: Aug. 17th, 2011   ·   location: Happyville
id 6750554
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norabird ( member #42092) posted at 4:23 PM on Monday, April 7th, 2014

And what's so funny is I was running home from work on Friday and realized that I was the happiest that I'd ever been in my life. That possibly I would just be single and see what happens.

I honestly think this is the secret!

Sit. Feast on your life.

posts: 4324   ·   registered: Jan. 16th, 2014   ·   location: NYC
id 6750979
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better4me ( member #30341) posted at 6:25 PM on Monday, April 7th, 2014

^^^ me too^^^

And isn't it ironic that it is the one thing you can't really control after all

Yea for you phmh!

DDay 11/17/2010 BW:58
Happily remarried!

posts: 4246   ·   registered: Dec. 9th, 2010   ·   location: Missouri
id 6751153
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 phmh (original poster member #34146) posted at 12:50 AM on Tuesday, April 8th, 2014

Thanks guys :)

Interesting that I had an example of what I'm not looking for this weekend. I'm OLD, so typically talk with a few guys at once and will schedule several first dates in the same week, depending on how schedules match up.

Anyway, was talking with a guy who sent me a text on Saturday after the basketball game (around 11 pm) asking what I was doing.

I replied that my friends were on vacation and had called me because their cat was sick -- could I go to their house and take him to the emergency vet? So I was leaving to drive to their house and then the vet.

He replied, "Can I help?"

I got this text while I was driving, and since I don't text and drive, I didn't read or respond to it immediately.

About three minutes after sending that text, without an answer from me, he writes, "Sorry just asking."

OK, Mr. P/A. When I got to my friends' house, I replied that I was driving so couldn't respond immediately and was heading to the vet. Thanks for the offer of help, but I had it under control since time was of the essence and he lived too far away. (I know...I should not have provided so many details but I was chatty and tired!)

His response: "Fine, but remember that I offered."

WTF? Can you imagine being in a relationship with this guy? I was picturing long rolls of paper where we keep track (though he probably uses a spreadsheet.)

Mr. P/A: I offered to help you +1. I actually helped you +7. I put my clothes in the hamper +4.

phmh: You accepted my help -5. You got home late from work -7. You used too many cheeses in the lasagne -14.

Mr. P/A: I won today by a score of 985 to negative 78. You owe me a blow job and a foot rub!!!

Needless to say, I canceled today's date. (Which I might have anyway after meeting the guy I met yesterday, but his behavior cemented that!)

Me: BW, divorced, now fabulous and happy!

Married: 11 years, no kids

Character is destiny

posts: 4993   ·   registered: Dec. 8th, 2011
id 6751604
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wildbananas ( member #10552) posted at 12:54 AM on Tuesday, April 8th, 2014

You used too many cheeses in the lasagne -14

....... schmoopie.

Travel light, live light, spread the light, be the light. ~ Yogi Bhajan

posts: 16592   ·   registered: May. 1st, 2006   ·   location: Somewhere
id 6751609
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 phmh (original poster member #34146) posted at 12:58 AM on Tuesday, April 8th, 2014

Exactly. I had no idea that using too many cheeses was a bad thing, until I saw it there, but I figured it must be worth a lot of negative points!

Me: BW, divorced, now fabulous and happy!

Married: 11 years, no kids

Character is destiny

posts: 4993   ·   registered: Dec. 8th, 2011
id 6751611
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GotPlayed ( member #41294) posted at 1:20 AM on Tuesday, April 8th, 2014

I briefly thought about starting a t/j - is there such a thing as too many cheeses in a lasagna?

Master of my Fate, Captain of my Soul.
XBH and healing. D final March 2016
Her: Doesn't matter anymore.
DS13 Severe SN. DD11 Awesome

posts: 1012   ·   registered: Nov. 10th, 2013   ·   location: California
id 6751628
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 phmh (original poster member #34146) posted at 1:26 AM on Tuesday, April 8th, 2014

GP - one of the former members here had a WH (later XWH) who just had to cheat because she used too many cheeses in the lasagne. (Or perhaps that was a bit of satire -- I was never exactly sure, but it makes me laugh all the time!!!)

Me: BW, divorced, now fabulous and happy!

Married: 11 years, no kids

Character is destiny

posts: 4993   ·   registered: Dec. 8th, 2011
id 6751635
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persevere ( member #31468) posted at 1:41 AM on Tuesday, April 8th, 2014

Great post!

DDay:2011
Status: D 2011
Remarried to a kind and wonderful man - 2017

Above all, be the heroine, not the victim. - Nora Ephron

It is our choices...that show what we truly are, far more than our abilities.
- J. K.

posts: 5329   ·   registered: Mar. 9th, 2011
id 6751649
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nowiknow23 ( member #33226) posted at 2:02 AM on Tuesday, April 8th, 2014

Yay for great first dates AND for obvious red flags waved by PA jerkies!

You can call me NIK

And never grow a wishbone, daughter, where your backbone ought to be.
― Sarah McMane

posts: 40250   ·   registered: Aug. 29th, 2011
id 6751663
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norabird ( member #42092) posted at 4:31 AM on Tuesday, April 8th, 2014

I would have offered my help on figuring out this red flag but I guess you got there first. Don't forget I would have helped though.

Sit. Feast on your life.

posts: 4324   ·   registered: Jan. 16th, 2014   ·   location: NYC
id 6751832
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 phmh (original poster member #34146) posted at 1:04 PM on Tuesday, April 8th, 2014

norabird: I have duly entered your +1 "offered to help" point into my giant tracking spreadsheet.

Those definitely are the easiest points to earn since you don't have to do anything, but they're not worth very much, so you really have to properly gauge the situation to make sure the person isn't likely to take you up on your offer to help. I bet this guy was a master at that (and probably a master of excuses why he couldn't really help if I'd have taken him up on the offer!)

Me: BW, divorced, now fabulous and happy!

Married: 11 years, no kids

Character is destiny

posts: 4993   ·   registered: Dec. 8th, 2011
id 6752004
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