SurvivingInfidelity.com Forum Archives

phmh posted 4/6/2014 20:11 PM

I had my approximately 40th first date today. I will admit that I was very lax on my initial screening -- especially in the beginning -- as I wanted to give everyone a chance and wasn't really sure how to date.

So I wasted a lot of time and money. (I was on free sites, but felt terrible making the guy pay when there was no future so I usually paid at least my half, if not the entire amount.)

I had a great first date today. Of course I don't know how things will turn out, but I am very much encouraged.

I could see things going far with this one.

Super excited!

And what's so funny is I was running home from work on Friday and realized that I was the happiest that I'd ever been in my life. That possibly I would just be single and see what happens. And then this date happened.

cayc posted 4/6/2014 20:20 PM

yay for great first dates!

Williesmom posted 4/6/2014 20:25 PM

Yay! Keep us posted

cmego posted 4/6/2014 20:58 PM

Woo HOO!!

cmego posted 4/6/2014 20:59 PM

*apparently I was so excited for you I posted it twice*

[This message edited by cmego at 9:00 PM, April 6th (Sunday)]

PurpleRose posted 4/6/2014 21:28 PM

Yeah for a great first date! I am glad to see so much positive news here lately!

norabird posted 4/7/2014 10:23 AM

And what's so funny is I was running home from work on Friday and realized that I was the happiest that I'd ever been in my life. That possibly I would just be single and see what happens.

I honestly think this is the secret!

better4me posted 4/7/2014 12:25 PM

^^^ me too^^^

And isn't it ironic that it is the one thing you can't really control after all

Yea for you phmh!

phmh posted 4/7/2014 18:50 PM

Thanks guys :)

Interesting that I had an example of what I'm not looking for this weekend. I'm OLD, so typically talk with a few guys at once and will schedule several first dates in the same week, depending on how schedules match up.

Anyway, was talking with a guy who sent me a text on Saturday after the basketball game (around 11 pm) asking what I was doing.

I replied that my friends were on vacation and had called me because their cat was sick -- could I go to their house and take him to the emergency vet? So I was leaving to drive to their house and then the vet.

He replied, "Can I help?"

I got this text while I was driving, and since I don't text and drive, I didn't read or respond to it immediately.

About three minutes after sending that text, without an answer from me, he writes, "Sorry just asking."

OK, Mr. P/A. When I got to my friends' house, I replied that I was driving so couldn't respond immediately and was heading to the vet. Thanks for the offer of help, but I had it under control since time was of the essence and he lived too far away. (I know...I should not have provided so many details but I was chatty and tired!)

His response: "Fine, but remember that I offered."

WTF? Can you imagine being in a relationship with this guy? I was picturing long rolls of paper where we keep track (though he probably uses a spreadsheet.)

Mr. P/A: I offered to help you +1. I actually helped you +7. I put my clothes in the hamper +4.

phmh: You accepted my help -5. You got home late from work -7. You used too many cheeses in the lasagne -14.

Mr. P/A: I won today by a score of 985 to negative 78. You owe me a blow job and a foot rub!!!

Needless to say, I canceled today's date. (Which I might have anyway after meeting the guy I met yesterday, but his behavior cemented that!)

wildbananas posted 4/7/2014 18:54 PM

You used too many cheeses in the lasagne -14

....... schmoopie.

phmh posted 4/7/2014 18:58 PM

Exactly. I had no idea that using too many cheeses was a bad thing, until I saw it there, but I figured it must be worth a lot of negative points!

GotPlayed posted 4/7/2014 19:20 PM

I briefly thought about starting a t/j - is there such a thing as too many cheeses in a lasagna?

phmh posted 4/7/2014 19:26 PM

GP - one of the former members here had a WH (later XWH) who just had to cheat because she used too many cheeses in the lasagne. (Or perhaps that was a bit of satire -- I was never exactly sure, but it makes me laugh all the time!!!)

persevere posted 4/7/2014 19:41 PM

Great post!

nowiknow23 posted 4/7/2014 20:02 PM

Yay for great first dates AND for obvious red flags waved by PA jerkies!

norabird posted 4/7/2014 22:31 PM

I would have offered my help on figuring out this red flag but I guess you got there first. Don't forget I would have helped though.

phmh posted 4/8/2014 07:04 AM

norabird: I have duly entered your +1 "offered to help" point into my giant tracking spreadsheet.

Those definitely are the easiest points to earn since you don't have to do anything, but they're not worth very much, so you really have to properly gauge the situation to make sure the person isn't likely to take you up on your offer to help. I bet this guy was a master at that (and probably a master of excuses why he couldn't really help if I'd have taken him up on the offer!)