This may seem odd, so bear with me.
About two weeks in, I think, I had a dream. I was playing pool (billiards) with a group of people. Didn't know anyone there. I was chatting with a woman, and there was a little romantic banter. Nothing remarkable.
I remembered the dream because I woke up in the middle. And for about a minute, I felt like myself. I hadn't for two weeks. Then I remembered that the woman I loved was embroiled in an affair and we were seemingly headed for a divorce I couldn't prevent.
Just like that, a weight returned to my chest, and became my total focus - as it had since the moment I discovered the affair.
But that brief moment when I awoke... I remembered that feeling - the feeling without that weight on my chest. While I had no real interest in whatever mythical woman I dreamed up playing pool, it was that little reminder what life without that 2,000-pound rhinoceros sitting on me would feel like that kept me going at times.
It took a while, but the weight eventually left for real as healing continued, and it really doesn't come back.
