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Healing Milestone

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Weatherly posted 4/7/2014 08:58 AM

The last night my ex and I lived together I came home, found him in bed sending naked pics to some woman. I tried to grab his phone, he pushed me down and strangled me until I blacked out. I called the police, he was arrested and that was the end of our marriage. If you asked him, even now, about it, he will admit it, shrug and say "she touched my phone."

Now, over the next few years, I did NOT touch people's phones. When my Aussie and I got together he'd ask me to hand him his phone and I'd refuse. I was not going to do it. I eventually explained why and he understood, and after awhile, I could do it. I could touch the phone, I could hand it to him. I could answer it and answer texts. Which I thought was pretty great.

Saturday Aussie, XH, and I were all at the boys' soccer games. DS8 wants indoor soccer shoes. Aussie said he'd buy them, but he wanted to know what the difference between indoor soccer shoes and regular gym shoes was. I didn't know. So, I turned to x, who knows a lot about soccer. I asked him. He grabbed his phone and explained, showed me some pics of the different shoes, told me what to look for. The shoes DS8 wanted were a pair XH pulled up so, without thinking I said "hey gimme your phone." and he handed it over, I took it and showed H the shoes.

It was about an hour later I realized...I wasn't scared of XH anymore.

ajsmom posted 4/7/2014 09:01 AM

He should buy the shoes.

Just sayin'...


cmego posted 4/7/2014 09:21 AM

Although my ex was never violent with me, he was always…a bully. He pushes what he thinks is right and negated my thought and emotions. One therapist called him patronizing. Everything I said or thought was wrong.

So, we are finalizing our D (YEAH!!!!), and his L actually is in my city, while my L is in my marital city. So ex wanted me to go to HIS L's office to sign paperwork. I refused. My L wants to read everything I sign.

That started 20 minutes of him berating me about what I should do. I finally said, "It is MY decision. Stop bullying me."

He immediately went into defense mode, "But, but, but…I was only trying to SAVE YOU MONEY."

I and walked away. The old cmego would have argued with him. The new one knows he is just a big bully.

Yeah for growth!

nowiknow23 posted 4/7/2014 09:40 AM

Yay for healing!

Weatherly posted 4/7/2014 09:45 AM

He should buy the shoes.
Just sayin'...

Yeah, well when you figure out how to make him do so let me know. He doesn't even pay child support and when I haul him back to court for nonpayment, he pays me $10 each week for 2-4 weeks, the judge tells him to do better, and tells me that the $10 shows he's trying. This has happened multiple times now.

inconnu posted 4/7/2014 20:07 PM

I wasn't scared of XH anymore.

this is awesome!

Williesmom posted 4/7/2014 20:28 PM

Yay for growth.

Your wxh is such an asshole.

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