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justinpaintoday posted 4/7/2014 12:13 PM

Visiting my parents. I went to the park bench where I proposed to my WW. I took off my wedding ring and set it where she sat when she said Yes. I then sat on the bench and threw the ring into the pond. I sit in my car crying as another piece of my love dies.

I am healing. Today she closed our joint checking account (one dollar balance) and refuses to return text when i asked about it. I want to reach out and tell her what I did, send pictures of the bench. I just know her heart is long gone and she wouldnt feel as sentimental. So i share here. I am okay this is obviously a monster trigger.

krispy47 posted 4/7/2014 12:31 PM

I can feel your pain, and I am so very sorry. Wishing you peace and strength today.

Breezy150 posted 4/7/2014 12:32 PM

(((Justinpaintoday))) I am so sorry.

No advice just support.

Tred posted 4/7/2014 12:36 PM

Sharing can be cathartic. Sending wishes for continual healing.

Foolme1 posted 4/7/2014 12:37 PM

I hate the triggers. I am still really close to my in-laws. After our divorce, I went to visit them for a week (they live out of state). I slept in the room that we used to share when we would visit. I drove past the stadium where we had our first kiss. Drove past our first apartment. It is all just so hard.

(((justinpain)))

SpecialK posted 4/7/2014 13:15 PM

I am so sorry you are in such a dark place right now. As hard as it is though, you need to embrace it and fight through it, you can do it. Take care of YOU, stop worrying about what she's doing or thinking.

Are your parents being supportive? If so, take them out and have a peaceful dinner with them.

Hugs and wishing you sunshine

Uhtred posted 4/7/2014 13:21 PM

Sorry for your pain brother. I wish I had something better to say.

byefornow posted 4/7/2014 13:24 PM

Sending you prayers and support.

4everfaithful83 posted 4/7/2014 13:46 PM

Hugs to you. Your post brought tears to my eyes. I can feel your pain in the words you wrote. Just know you are not alone. Sending you some strength today.

freeatlast72 posted 4/7/2014 13:49 PM

I am so sorry....wishing you much strength today. Please know you are not alone.

((justinpain))

LeftOutintheCold posted 4/7/2014 13:53 PM

It brought tears to my eyes too, as I read it. Stay strong - don't reach out anymore to her. This is about YOU and your healing now. (((hugs)))

tushnurse posted 4/7/2014 13:54 PM

(((Justin))))

You know what you did was allowing you to have a fresh start. While I can hear the pain you are feeling in your post I also admire you for having the strength, and the sense to no longer tolerate the disrespect, dishonor, and pain that she was bringing you.

You will heal, you will be stronger, you will be happier. It's hard to believe right now. But it is true. You have chosen to heal.

Now go do something incredibly self indulgent, and if that means going to a local watering hole and playing a few games of golden tee do it!!!

We got your back.

justinpaintoday posted 4/7/2014 14:03 PM

Thanks all. That was rough but I needed closure. Make it clear I do not miss the WW of today. The one demonizing me and playing with other men to fill the hole of worthlessness within her.

I miss the one on the bench. The one that died a year and half ago and was replaced by the woman in a Midlife Crisis on steriods. It is hard knowing they look at you with such contempt. One breathe at a time. Tommorrow I go home and see my kids while she will run off to who knows where.

LA44 posted 4/7/2014 14:10 PM

Justinpain, I very sorry for your pain. Glad you posted here instead of texting her. I too am wondering if your parents/any others are being supportive. SI is here.

Keep posting.
LA

justinpaintoday posted 4/7/2014 14:30 PM

My support network is amazing. I have people coming from everywhere to support me so I am a blessed man. Few know of the infidelity, just we are getting a D. That's ok. I have no interest in hurting her or ruining the name of my children's mother.

I just wish she would move out and the D would be over. I hate conflict and have a boatload coming. It is an adversarial process. I continue to pray I will maintain my character through it all.

yearsofpain25 posted 4/7/2014 14:48 PM

Terribly sad and symbolic. I'm so sorry. I did something similar after the death of my brother. That's what this is and you are grieving. Thinking of you brother. Only way to go is up from here.

norabird posted 4/7/2014 14:53 PM

I think these ceremonious moments to give oneself closure, revisit the past and realize the future will be different than you expected can be wonderfully cleansing. Good for you for both taking this moment to say goodbye and for coming here to share instead of telling her. Progress

SoVerySadNow posted 4/7/2014 15:59 PM

I'm so sorry you are in such pain.
Sending good thoughts your way. And strength.

JT4588 posted 4/7/2014 17:26 PM

justinpaintoday, I am so very sorry for the terrible hurt you are suffering. Infidelity is such a horrible thing - what it does to us is beyond comprehension for anyone who hasn't lived it.

I have to say that I really felt for you when I read that you threw your wedding ring in the pond. I threw my ring in the desert the night of DDay and then my husband's ring the next day. He was pissed but mostly because it was an expensive ring. I told him I was throwing our rings out just like he'd thrown our marriage out. I don't regret it one bit. Sometimes you do the things that make you feel the best - throwing our rings out made me feel better.

Hugs to you and many wishes for your heart to find peace and comfort.

ChinaCat posted 4/7/2014 22:09 PM

Prayers and support to you.

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