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possible relocation / DD

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ProbableIceCream posted 4/7/2014 14:14 PM

Sooooooo..........

There's a rumor at work that my group may get consolidated to one of two other possible locations. One of them I wouldn't mind going to. The other one is a wash. Both are far enough away that DD would have to fly to do visits between parents. The move would occur very late this year if it happened.

It's just a rumor, so it may be nothing. I'll probably have more information later this week.

I opened a dialogue with XWW at the suggestion of my manager, telling her that this was possible and that we should come up with a contingency for the case where I move with respect to parenting plan. I noted that DD would have to stay in one place most of the school year to attend school. Of course XWW would "prefer" that DD stay in her current location "at first." Like hell. I've been equal or primary caretaker since DD started Kindergarten in late 2011, and it's not an accident that I've been that way. I'm going to start recording her location again, just in case.

XWW has been very averse to talking to a lawyer in the past, and she has no money to speak of and there are no marital assets she could tap into because the divorce is done, so if it turned into a fight I'd have vastly more resources. I may do a quick legal consult later this week to see if there's anything I need to start doing.

I will also try to figure out what's genuinely best for DD. I do NOT think that XWW would be a good primary caretaker. She is nuts. I'm slightly nervous about her having DD for 24 hours at a time, long term, to be honest.

Sigh.

Crescita posted 4/7/2014 15:38 PM

It sounds like you still have a lot of time and options. Maybe start job hunting as well.

Good luck!

ProbableIceCream posted 4/7/2014 16:17 PM

I am really nervous about this stuff and it's making it very hard to focus on anything.

cayc posted 4/7/2014 16:48 PM

I combat stressful situations by creating step-by-step plans. That way I'm not worrying about the whole enchilada, just the next step. Somehow that helps.

So start here: Do you love your job enough that you're willing to do this move?
>If yes, talk to your attorney and find out what you need to do re: custody.
>>If you getting permission from the courts to move your daughter out of state is feasible, then you know what you need to do to make it happen.
>>If you getting permission from the courts to move your daughter out of state is not feasible, then start looking for another job.

>If no, you don't want to move regardless, then start looking for another job.

This plan prepares you for all eventualities, except of course if your company doesn't move. In which case you've faced a demon and can relax.

ProbableIceCream posted 4/7/2014 17:25 PM

Thanks, cayc. In the mean time it may not hurt me to look for another job anyway. It's currently a big weakness of mine (I don't develop this skill enough). It'll help me have more perspective on my current job too.

(and I see Crescita suggested this too--thank you!)

[This message edited by ProbableIceCream at 5:25 PM, April 7th (Monday)]

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