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Newest Member: Starrystarrynight

Wayward Side :
Excited

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 BrokenButTrying (original poster member #42111) posted at 9:04 PM on Monday, April 7th, 2014

Trying to stay calm so I had to tell someone to relieve my excitement and I knew you guys would understand....

BH and I are going on a date night!!!

I got tickets for my birthday last month to see Derren Brown live. For those who don't know who he is, he's a British illusionist/magician/hypnotist, the UK version of David Blaine. Anyway, I got two tickets but I had kind of written it off thinking that it wasn't the right time. But BH said he would like to go with me!

My mum is coming down to watch the kids and I get a few child free hours which is a luxury in itself. I'm really looking forward to it but at the same time trying not to read too much into it.

Madhatters - We have R'd.

Chin up. Unwavering. Fight. We can do this.

posts: 1363   ·   registered: Jan. 18th, 2014   ·   location: UK
id 6751346
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authenticnow ( member #16024) posted at 9:33 PM on Monday, April 7th, 2014

That's great! Sending good thoughts for a night of reconnection and warm hearts .

DS, you are forever in my heart. Thank you for sharing your beautiful spirit with me. I will always try to live by the example you have set. I love you and miss you every day and am sorry you had to go so soon, it just doesn't seem fair.

posts: 55165   ·   registered: Sep. 2nd, 2007
id 6751384
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 BrokenButTrying (original poster member #42111) posted at 10:11 PM on Monday, April 7th, 2014

Thanks, AC

Madhatters - We have R'd.

Chin up. Unwavering. Fight. We can do this.

posts: 1363   ·   registered: Jan. 18th, 2014   ·   location: UK
id 6751423
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splitintwo ( member #42951) posted at 10:51 PM on Monday, April 7th, 2014

Yay! Enjoy the night off from the kids & out together. :)

BH: 42
WW: 37
LTA ended Jan. 1, 2014; NC started in April.
Married 17 years.
No DDay; this, like all of life's decisions, is a work in progress.

My best thinking brought me to SI.

posts: 213   ·   registered: Mar. 31st, 2014
id 6751467
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 BrokenButTrying (original poster member #42111) posted at 11:26 PM on Monday, April 7th, 2014

Thank you :)

Really need a night off, the youngest still doesn't sleep through... he's two!

Madhatters - We have R'd.

Chin up. Unwavering. Fight. We can do this.

posts: 1363   ·   registered: Jan. 18th, 2014   ·   location: UK
id 6751517
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badchoice ( member #35566) posted at 12:06 AM on Tuesday, April 8th, 2014

That is awesome. Have fun.

Me: fWH/BH 46

Separated transitioning to D

posts: 730   ·   registered: May. 11th, 2012   ·   location: L.A.
id 6751567
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Neverwudaguessed ( member #41884) posted at 2:28 PM on Tuesday, April 8th, 2014

How'd the night go?? Hope the two of you had a great time together!!!

BW: 46 Me
WH:50
DDay1 9-9-13 (18th Wedding Anniversary) 6 wk EA, 1 wk PA
DDay2: 10-25-13 EA/PA with same OW 14 1/2 years ago for 2 or 3 months
OW: XGF Predator who never stopped pursuing WH
DS 15
DD 13

posts: 1813   ·   registered: Jan. 2nd, 2014   ·   location: New York
id 6752075
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Sparkle0504 ( member #40379) posted at 2:31 PM on Tuesday, April 8th, 2014

I don't think she's been yet:)

BBT wishing you well. Not a great fan of Derren B but a huge fan of steps forward. Enjoy yourself

[This message edited by Sparkle0504 at 8:32 AM, April 8th (Tuesday)]

Me 52 (BS) Him 60 (EXSAWH)
DDay (too many to mention), but 1st 06/2011
I'm done. Separated.

Time is always right, to do right. (Dr Martin Luther King)

posts: 396   ·   registered: Aug. 21st, 2013   ·   location: England
id 6752079
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Neverwudaguessed ( member #41884) posted at 2:45 PM on Tuesday, April 8th, 2014

OOOPS! Sorry; I guess I was excited too :)

BW: 46 Me
WH:50
DDay1 9-9-13 (18th Wedding Anniversary) 6 wk EA, 1 wk PA
DDay2: 10-25-13 EA/PA with same OW 14 1/2 years ago for 2 or 3 months
OW: XGF Predator who never stopped pursuing WH
DS 15
DD 13

posts: 1813   ·   registered: Jan. 2nd, 2014   ·   location: New York
id 6752101
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Prayingforhope ( member #41801) posted at 6:38 PM on Tuesday, April 8th, 2014

This is great news! Thanks for sharing that.

WH 41
BS 40
D-Day Oct 28th, 2013
Together 18 years
Three amazing boys 12, 9 & 6
Praying for hope daily

posts: 260   ·   registered: Dec. 27th, 2013
id 6752514
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 BrokenButTrying (original poster member #42111) posted at 1:31 AM on Wednesday, April 9th, 2014

Thanks for the well wishes everyone :)

Had a great IC session today. My C says is really pleased with my progress so far, she's been a C for 35 years and says I am 'extraordinary'.

I splashed out on a new outfit for the date night too. I rarely buy myself things so it feels like a real treat.

Feeling really positive this week, making the most of the 'up' while it lasts.

Madhatters - We have R'd.

Chin up. Unwavering. Fight. We can do this.

posts: 1363   ·   registered: Jan. 18th, 2014   ·   location: UK
id 6752980
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Darkness Falls ( member #27879) posted at 1:33 AM on Wednesday, April 9th, 2014

This is nice to read. I hope you have a great night out together.

Married -> I cheated -> We divorced -> We remarried -> Had two kids -> Now we’re miserable again

Staying together for the kids

D-day 2010

posts: 6490   ·   registered: Mar. 8th, 2010   ·   location: USA
id 6752985
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KBeguile ( member #38348) posted at 12:31 PM on Wednesday, April 9th, 2014

Congratulations on your date night!

Me: WS 34
Her: BS 37 (HeartInADustpan)
DS: 7yo
M: 9 years
DDays: 2012/11/14-2013/02/05, 2013/03/09, 2016/02/19

posts: 824   ·   registered: Feb. 4th, 2013   ·   location: St. Louis
id 6753353
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 BrokenButTrying (original poster member #42111) posted at 9:36 AM on Saturday, April 12th, 2014

Update.

Date night went (sort of) well.

I was very nervous and spent about three hours getting ready. I have small children so can normally be ready in less than five! It was nice to have time to pamper myself a little.

BH turned up in jeans and t-shirt and barely glanced at me. When we were in the car I joked about my nerves and how long it took me to get ready. His reply was 'you look different, you look nice but that's why it's bad'. I don't even know what that is supposed to mean??!

The show was amazing, we both really enjoyed it. There was a stupid joke at the beginning about statistics, 2000 people in the theatre so 14 members of the audience would currently be engaged in extramarital affairs. I died a little inside at that but I reached out and squeezed BH's hand, he responded by giving me a kiss!

It was relaxed and chatty, a bit flirty. We had fun! When we got home we shared some kisses and wonderful cuddles, I did ask BH to stay but he seemed really conflicted (it looked like he was arguing with himself, as if his heart wanted to but his head said otherwise) so he left. If I'm honest I was gutted but it's important he's comfortable and we had a nice night so I didn't want to push him.

Baby steps.

[This message edited by BrokenButTrying at 3:44 AM, April 12th (Saturday)]

Madhatters - We have R'd.

Chin up. Unwavering. Fight. We can do this.

posts: 1363   ·   registered: Jan. 18th, 2014   ·   location: UK
id 6757080
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Sparkle0504 ( member #40379) posted at 6:04 PM on Saturday, April 12th, 2014

He was probably as nervous as you BBT. It's almost like a courtship and doing things steadily and "properly". As you say, baby steps. But they seem like good ones.

Personally would've preferred a bit of Lee Evans meself

Me 52 (BS) Him 60 (EXSAWH)
DDay (too many to mention), but 1st 06/2011
I'm done. Separated.

Time is always right, to do right. (Dr Martin Luther King)

posts: 396   ·   registered: Aug. 21st, 2013   ·   location: England
id 6757286
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wheredoigo ( member #42327) posted at 7:01 PM on Saturday, April 12th, 2014

(((BBT)))

It made my day to read this!! I've followed your journey and must say I literally giggled at your update when I read that he kissed you! That could of been an awful trigger, but you knew to quickly to comfort him and it was worth it. Hope the days to follow show more positive tidbits from this baby step.

1st marriage BS to a xSAWH (36)
2nd marriage WW (36) to BS(Jt8d, 40)
I will face what hurts me and my actions that have hurt myself and others rather than hiding behind fearful justifications of why I should never heal or grow.

posts: 271   ·   registered: Feb. 4th, 2014   ·   location: Midwest
id 6757321
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