SurvivingInfidelity.com^®

I am having a rare hopeful day today, one where I can see through the fog to a place where I might feel normal and even strong and happy again. It's a long way off, but it's out there.

A friend of mine sent me an essay by Clarissa Pinkola Estes. The larger piece is actually about fighting evil in the world, but portions of it spoke to me about our struggles here on SI, and I wanted to share some of it with you, in case it is helpful to others. So...

You Were Made for This

I grew up on the Great Lakes and recognize a seaworthy vessel when I see one… Look out over the prow; there are millions of boats of souls on the waters with you. Even though your veneers may shiver from every wave in this stormy roil, I assure you that the long timbers composing your prow and rudder come from a greater forest. That long-grained lumber is known to withstand storms, to hold together, to hold its own, and to advance, regardless.

In any dark time, there is a tendency to veer toward fainting over how much is wrong or unmended in the world. Do not focus on that. There is a tendency, too, to fall into being weakened by dwelling on what is outside your reach, by what cannot yet be. Do not focus there. That is spending the wind without raising the sails….

One of the most calming and powerful actions you can do to intervene in a stormy world is to stand up and show your soul. A soul on deck shines like gold in dark times. The light of the soul throws sparks, can send up flares, builds signal fires, causes proper matters to catch fire. To display the lantern of soul in shadowy times like these – to be fierce and to show mercy toward others; both are acts of immense bravery and greatest necessity.

Struggling souls catch light from other souls who are fully lit and willing to show it. If you would help to calm the tumult, this is one of the strongest things you can do.

There will always be times when you feel discouraged. I too have felt despair many times in my life, but I do not keep a chair for it. I will not entertain it. It is not allowed to eat from my plate.

Thank you to the long-time SI contributors who are acting as "lit souls" to those of us still foundering.

Nice

You have no idea how much I needed to read that this morning. Thank you so much for sharing.

I sent the quote to WH with just the words "just sharing" He just reponded

"Very interesting, thank you! I am catching the light from your soul."

He is working up the nerve for full disclosure. Our schedules have been tough, so we haven't had to time I know this will take. Like a few hours at one time to really have a sit down. So last night he tells me that he wants to talk tonight. I wasn't sure if he was thinking to do the FC, or what. And I'm thinking-OK, so I have to do packing to leave Wednesday to go out of town for the weekend on and you think Tuesday night is a good time to do that? So I ask after some thought "Talk about what?" He looks at me very strangely and says "Us" So I told him, uh, ok, just sort of wondering.

I think I might just tell him, since he has made me wait several weeks, he can wait until after I get home so he doesn't ruin my weekend. This weekend away is for my hobby that I have pretty much quit since Dday. Looking forward to the time away and I feel like this will ruin it.

Trying not to make him feel bad for wanting to be transparent. But his timing sucks...

So you say, "I really appreciate that you are ready to be transparent. I also really need to take care of myself this weekend. Can we set aside time on Monday?" Good luck, Daffodils!

Yes, I think I can still show appreciation. And maybe knowing he is ready will make the weekend even better. Plus he will have the whole weekend to really put thought into it. He has been worried about forgetting/leaving things out. His work has been crazy, and I understand that is part of the reason the R has been stalled for a time.

So I have written some things down that we can discuss-M things that we need work on. Good points I've taken from SI that can help us. So we can at least go into the weekend apart having worked some things out.

Thanks Krispy!

Thank you for sharing.

WOW! What a beautiful post! Thanks so much for sharing!!!

Stand up and show your soul..I love this!

For any and all darknesses we experience, great and small in our lives....

Thank you, I needed to read something like that!

Great quote!