"You can survive this. Talk to others that have"

frenchmoxie posted 4/8/2014 10:09 AM

So... the piece of shit still has some random things at the house (books). He hasn't said anything at all about picking them up, and of course I'm not offering to help the jackass. How long should I wait before I sell of his crap? Or should I have done it yesterday? We split Feb. 22.
Are there any legal things that could come up with this?

FYI We were NOT MARRIED, together for 8 years but do not live in a state that recognizes common law marriage.

BAB61 posted 4/8/2014 10:27 AM

Now! If he wanted it he should have gotten it already!

strongerdaybyday posted 4/8/2014 10:35 AM

I love the title of this post

I read somewhere keep it a minimum of 30 days and then you can toss it.

I'm not a lawyer so I can't be 100% on that; but if he's left it since Feb 22 why in the world should you have to hang on to it?

Gemini71 posted 4/8/2014 10:46 AM

Google how long it has to be in your state until it's considered 'abandoned property', then sell it. Take yourself out to a nice dinner with the proceeds.

StillLivin posted 4/8/2014 14:18 PM

I'm dealing with the same thing. We are married and own the house together, though. So, unfortunately for me there is a waiting period, and I can't just dump his shit in the yard....would LOVE to do that!
Gemini nailed it. Find out what the law is.
Don't even notify him what the law is. He hasn't asked, so don't give answers needlessly.
Whenever the waiting period is over, if there is one, then donate or toss it.

devistatedmom posted 4/8/2014 14:34 PM

I would send him an email saying he has until April 15th to remove any of his belongings from your house. After that date, you will dispose of them as you see fit and he will have no claim on them. That's what I did with my XH. It covers your butt that you informed him they were about to disappear from him trying to get them, or cash, for them later.

frenchmoxie posted 4/8/2014 17:35 PM

Devistatedmum,
When you wrote the letter, did he come get his shit? If it isn't already obvious, I want to punish him. I don't care to deal with this nicely. I am in the process of waiting for disability court date, I am unable to work and have no income or assets. If he decided to take me to small claims court, there wouldn't be anything that they could do to get the money from me if it just isn't there. Does that make sense? I'm broke and he knows this. I looked on Google for dormancy periods for abandoned property and can't seem to find anything.

GabyBaby posted 4/8/2014 17:46 PM

I would send him an email saying he has until April 15th to remove any of his belongings from your house. After that date, you will dispose of them as you see fit and he will have no claim on them.

This.
I emailed my (then) STBXH about his belongings months after he moved out. He told me in two seperate emails that I could burn the stuff for all he cared, so I got rid of the junk (sold some, gave some away, but threw most away).
He asked me more than 2 years after he moved out for specific items. My only reply to him was to forward his former emails telling me to burn his stuff.
He never asked again.

[This message edited by GabyBaby at 5:48 PM, April 8th (Tuesday)]

Nature_Girl posted 4/8/2014 17:55 PM

Pick a date that is convenient for you. Email him - make sure you're using a current email address, tell him that he has until that particular date (make sure it's two weeks past date you send the email) to get his stuff.

GabyBaby posted 4/8/2014 18:01 PM

You could even take it a step further to cover your butt:

Dear Asswipe,
You moved out on X Date and left personal belongings in my home. It is now Y date.
You have until Z date to come get them or I will consider it abandoned property and will dispose of it as I see fit.

Burn in Hell,
Frenchie

Mousse242 posted 4/8/2014 20:48 PM

Pick a date that is convenient for you. Email him - make sure you're using a current email address, tell him that he has until that particular date (make sure it's two weeks past date you send the email) to get his stuff.

Make sure you have a read receipt or something like that on it. If you use Outlook you'll have that function. I don't know with gmail, yahoo or any of those though.

RedWheelBarrow posted 4/9/2014 03:00 AM

I think if he left them there, they are yours to sell or burn or pee on.

frenchmoxie posted 4/9/2014 14:17 PM

I found some info on abandoned property laws. I'm seeing 30 days? But, as many of you have said here, I need to send him a notice, in writing, that he needs to come get his shit. Thanks all.

absolut posted 4/9/2014 15:05 PM

Oh just do it.

just post that shit on ebay. A bunch of books and stuff? Really?

He's been gone for two months already. Your home is not a storage unit.

Wanna hear a cool story about *someone I know*

She sold online an heirloom family quilt from her hated former MIL. Handmade, Gorgeous.
Also several items were thrown in the dumpster, including his baby pictures and his medals from his time in the service. I seriously dgaf.

I am not going to email or phone somebody to come get their own stuff, I do not play pattycake with grown men. If you don't care about your own personal property why should I?

He never did call me about all that. I always wondered if he just left it here as some kind of game.

F&*k what the law says, especially when the cost of filing small claims is $35. Do you really think he's going to do that over books? Is it fair to you to have to look at this junk every day? He should have gotten it within, TOPS, a week after moving out. Common sense dictates this is just ridiculous. At this point even if he called I think you should just not answer. Or if he does, just tell him you donated all those books to the library a month ago when you were spring cleaning.

frenchmoxie posted 4/9/2014 16:50 PM

Absolut,

Haha I love the attitude in your post. However, he has a ton of textbooks here from graduate school, and some of them I might be able to get some decent money for. in addition, he left his expensive computer ($1,300), but he also purchased a few years ago so I could use it for my graphic design/web design classes. So I'm thinking that it was a GIFT to me, which means I should be keeping it, right? : )

I've been on a legal message board as well trying to get advice on how to deal with the whole expensive computer issue. Any thoughts or advice would be appreciated, just PM me!

absolut posted 4/9/2014 22:30 PM

frenchmoxie

How long has it been since he moved out?

Have you been in contact with him at all?

frenchmoxie posted 4/9/2014 22:38 PM

absolut,
He moved out Feb. 22, yes I have seen him in person once, and spoken with him on the phone once. Why do you ask about contact?

absolut posted 4/9/2014 22:47 PM

Because if he isn't going in and out of your home it's abandoned.

Under 10k is small claims. And there is no criminal law here, he would have to file civil. Because there's no breaking and entering etc. You didn't "take" anything.

Really as much talk on here as there is about a "wayward" mindset I think there is a "betrayed" mindset. We care way too much about what somebody might do or say or what might happen.

Do you really think he is going to do anything? Block his number. Sell his stuff. I would get on top of those textbooks, they come out with new editions all the time, making the old ones worthless.Get your $$$ honey.

edit: you can use that computer for your graphic design business??? Oh. honey. Is this even a question?
You've had the locks changed right?

[This message edited by absolut at 10:49 PM, April 9th (Wednesday)]

Bigger posted 4/10/2014 05:35 AM

It’s too soon.
Since you two had a long-term relationship where you lived together then I’m assuming that any court would see wherever he left his stuff as his residence (even if it’s your father’s house). There is a difference between being the owner or the name on the mortgage or lease and residence and residence does provide you with legal rights.
I would guess that until you have confirmation of him having a permanent new residence you wait a minimum of 90 days starting from the 1st March.

About the computer? Well… Just use it. If he asks for it then stall or make it conditional to him removing all of his stuff.

tushnurse posted 4/10/2014 08:00 AM

You did change the locks right?
I wouldn't want him to come waltzing back in when he gets the note to come get his shit.