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Paramour posted 4/8/2014 14:18 PM

2012: feeling alone, hurt, sad, depressed, I turned to the arms of my AP. He wasn't the first, but he was the one I needed, the others were flirtation, one time encounters.

It started as adult conversation, turned into passionate encounters, turned into a twisted kind of love.

He saved me when I was falling, when I felt like nothing else made sense, he did.

I'll never forget the day I had the courage to tell him that I loved, him, expecting nothing in return, he said it back. It's a phrase I hold tightly to because I rarely say it to anyone other than my children, and a former wife of an unfaithful husband I just don't know how much I believe in love. But, this felt right.

Time has passed and the passion remains, but in the past few weeks his communication has tapered and I am scared that I am losing him, left only with the remains of an already dissatisfying marriage I didn't know where else to turn.

I don't know anymore who I am, what I want or what matters.

sisoon posted 4/8/2014 14:37 PM

Why did you join SI? What do you expect to get here?

Frankly, you sound sorry for yourself, not remorseful.

Consider asking the mods to move this thread to WS or to lock this thread. In this forum, BSes and WSes can comment. In WS, you can prevent BS responses, and that's probably something you should do.

Deeply Scared posted 4/8/2014 15:37 PM

Paramour...

I've added the stop sign to this thread so it is now closed off to BS replies.

Do you plan on ending your affair?

Aubrie posted 4/8/2014 16:03 PM

He saved me when I was falling, when I felt like nothing else made sense, he did.
Well this statement is false. Cause you're still miserable, scared, lonely, etc. So, time for a new plan. What ya got in mind?

authenticnow posted 4/8/2014 16:31 PM

What Aubrie said. He saved you from nothing. You're still miserable, and you're living a life of deceit.

You're searching for something external, instead of looking inward and trying to figure out your issues. Are you in IC?

sunnyrain posted 4/8/2014 22:40 PM

I don't know anymore who I am, what I want or what matters.

I remember being at the lost-lonely-nowhere-to-turn stage.

You matter. Healing matters. How can I help?

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