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Newest Member: Phoenix2rise (45723)

User Topic: My Story
Paramour
♀ 43045
Member # 43045
Stop  Posted: 2:18 PM, April 8th (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

2012: feeling alone, hurt, sad, depressed, I turned to the arms of my AP. He wasn't the first, but he was the one I needed, the others were flirtation, one time encounters.

It started as adult conversation, turned into passionate encounters, turned into a twisted kind of love.

He saved me when I was falling, when I felt like nothing else made sense, he did.

I'll never forget the day I had the courage to tell him that I loved, him, expecting nothing in return, he said it back. It's a phrase I hold tightly to because I rarely say it to anyone other than my children, and a former wife of an unfaithful husband I just don't know how much I believe in love. But, this felt right.

Time has passed and the passion remains, but in the past few weeks his communication has tapered and I am scared that I am losing him, left only with the remains of an already dissatisfying marriage I didn't know where else to turn.

I don't know anymore who I am, what I want or what matters.


Posts: 1 | Registered: Apr 2014 | From: Ohio
sisoon
♂ 31240
Member # 31240
Default  Posted: 2:37 PM, April 8th (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Why did you join SI? What do you expect to get here?

Frankly, you sound sorry for yourself, not remorseful.

Consider asking the mods to move this thread to WS or to lock this thread. In this forum, BSes and WSes can comment. In WS, you can prevent BS responses, and that's probably something you should do.


fBH (me) - 70 (22 in my head), fWW (plainsong) - 65+, Married 45+, together since 1965
DDay - 12/2010
Recovered, not yet fully R'ed
I share my own experience because it's the only experience I know, not because I'm a good model.

Posts: 10570 | Registered: Feb 2011 | From: Chicago area
Deeply Scared
♀ 2
Member # 2
Default  Posted: 3:37 PM, April 8th (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Paramour...

I've added the stop sign to this thread so it is now closed off to BS replies.

Do you plan on ending your affair?


"Don't give up, the beginning is always the hardest." My Mom:)

My tolerance for stupid shit is getting less and less.


Posts: 198816 | Registered: May 2002
Aubrie
♀ 33886
Member # 33886
Default  Posted: 4:03 PM, April 8th (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

He saved me when I was falling, when I felt like nothing else made sense, he did.
Well this statement is false. Cause you're still miserable, scared, lonely, etc. So, time for a new plan. What ya got in mind?


Me - FWW * Him - QuietStand

"Courage is being scared to death and saddling up anyway." - J. Wayne


Posts: 6426 | Registered: Nov 2011 | From: South, Y'all!
authenticnow
♀ 16024
Member # 16024
Default  Posted: 4:31 PM, April 8th (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

What Aubrie said. He saved you from nothing. You're still miserable, and you're living a life of deceit.

You're searching for something external, instead of looking inward and trying to figure out your issues. Are you in IC?


Take up your space (and do it well).

"That's the thing about pain, it demands to be felt."


Posts: 38662 | Registered: Sep 2007
sunnyrain
♀ 30164
Member # 30164
Default  Posted: 10:40 PM, April 8th (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I don't know anymore who I am, what I want or what matters.

I remember being at the lost-lonely-nowhere-to-turn stage.

You matter. Healing matters. How can I help?


"I'm not much into health food, I am into champagne."

Posts: 450 | Registered: Nov 2010
Topic Posts: 6

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