2012: feeling alone, hurt, sad, depressed, I turned to the arms of my AP. He wasn't the first, but he was the one I needed, the others were flirtation, one time encounters.
It started as adult conversation, turned into passionate encounters, turned into a twisted kind of love.
He saved me when I was falling, when I felt like nothing else made sense, he did.
I'll never forget the day I had the courage to tell him that I loved, him, expecting nothing in return, he said it back. It's a phrase I hold tightly to because I rarely say it to anyone other than my children, and a former wife of an unfaithful husband I just don't know how much I believe in love. But, this felt right.
Time has passed and the passion remains, but in the past few weeks his communication has tapered and I am scared that I am losing him, left only with the remains of an already dissatisfying marriage I didn't know where else to turn.
I don't know anymore who I am, what I want or what matters.