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Newest Member: AdriftSailor (46058)

User Topic: How to stop blowing things out of proportion?
broken313
♀ 39006
Member # 39006
Default  Posted: 3:32 PM, April 8th (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I am in a bad place right now. Dday 1 just passed. R halted. I think I am blowing even the smallest things out of proprtion, A related or not.
Eg. Him restarting his new weight loss/ exercise plan and not telling me about it.
Most discussions end without resolution because FWH cant stand conflict and exits. I stew for days... This is wearing me down. MC had no suggestions. How do you guys do this? Seems we just didnt have such a constant flow of negativity in our M pre A.


Me 42
FWH 39
3 kids, 13,8,6
Dday 3/30/13
R- fragile

Posts: 88 | Registered: Apr 2013
karmahappens
♀ 35846
Member # 35846
Default  Posted: 3:38 PM, April 8th (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

MC has no suggestions...WTH?

He needs to get into IC, conflicat avoidance is a marriage killer. He needs to deal with his emotional issues before he is able to be a healthy partner for you.

You are probably blowing things out of the water because you feel overwhelmed. There are ways you could be processing better and communicating differently with your husband.

Have you considered IC for yourself?

At the very least I would get a new MC, if they cannot navigate the waters through an A you will be struggling with them.

(((hugs)))


“And the day came when the risk to remain tight in a bud was more painful than the risk it took to blossom”
Anaïs Nin
Me: 45
Him: 47
Dday 8/2007
We have R'd

Posts: 3872 | Registered: Jun 2012 | From: Massachusetts
Morhurt
♀ 40166
Member # 40166
Default  Posted: 4:03 PM, April 8th (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

First of all, IMO, you're not necessarily blowing thins out of proportion. I think it's completely reasonable to expect your H to communicate any new activities or changes in his schedule or whatever. For him to start a new exercise regime and not tell you... That seems like grounds for you to be upset. How you deal with being upset, and how he reacts, those are the key things here.
MC needs to be helping with the communication piece. Big time.


Me: BS
Him: FWS
M: 15 years
4 lovely daughters
Working to rebuild.

Posts: 961 | Registered: Aug 2013 | From: Canada
Topic Posts: 3

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