This Topic is Archived
hopeful18 (original poster member #19234) posted at 9:36 PM on Tuesday, April 8th, 2014
We just had a great mc apt. I have been expressing my frustration for the past month at not being able to talk about A issues and triggers with wh without him getting defensive or angry.
Well I think he gets it! I hope so. Because I can't live holding it in anymore. Communicating my pain and triggers is necessary for us to heal and save the marriage. I tried holding it n. Not going to work!
So mc wants me to verbalized to wh. Problem is I don't know where to start. I am a very good communicator but somehow I am at a loss. I am gun shy. We talked for 5 years and he cheated again! Then I thought he got it twice this year until he ran out of patience. I shut down. Now I am ready because I know it is critical. I just don't know where I want to start. I think he gets this now and sees he has an issue with his anger at my anger.
Do I start with.....
Triggers? Issues I have? Anger? Hurt?
StorybookGirl42 ( member #42276) posted at 11:43 PM on Tuesday, April 8th, 2014
Not sure if this will help but for me, when I am having trouble figuring out what to talk about or how, I write.
I just start with what comes to mind first and let it go. I don't worry about it sounding elegant or thoughtful, it becomes a stream of consciousness thing. When I'm done, for the moment, I can read back over what I've written and usually an order or pattern emerges over how to approach it. Once I have that, I list the details then write again trying to be more elegant and tactful.
It helps me to compose my thoughts so when I talk about something I don't wander all over a bunch of topics and end up not making much sense or having any real affect. It has helped me loads in talking with my WH since the A.
This Topic is Archived
