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Divorce/Separation :
Why does the cheater

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 Caretaker1 (original poster member #42777) posted at 3:04 AM on Wednesday, April 9th, 2014

Constantly throw what she does with the bf soon to be 2nd husband , and with our kids? I feel like I'm in high school. Eff off I say,

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id 6753088
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SBB ( member #35229) posted at 3:19 AM on Wednesday, April 9th, 2014

You mean Future Ex Husband? She needs to show everyone how happy she is because she thinks that makes what she has done/is doing OK.

Because it would suck arse to admit to everyone that you blew up your family for a douchebag. Let alone that you are a douchebag yourself.

The only reason the sad clown isn't engaged or married yet or with a kid on the way is because she won't marry and have kids with him. That bitch is smarter than me. She knows what he is because she is the same kind of parasite.

Why do kids in high school do it? Insecurity - same goes here.

I remind myself that when I'm healed enough to date it will kill him - I'm used him dating given he did it all throughout our M. Him? Not so much. It will be a healthy relationship not borne out of the ashes of an M. Even if I don't date my give a fuck is broken in regards to him - it's not so fun to rub it in someones face when they don't give a fuck.

When you're happy you won't feel the need to rub it I. Her face - you'll just want to enjoy your life.

Indifference will come - it takes time and effort but soon enough you'll see these antics for what they are. A desperate cry for attention. And you'll pity her. Poor thing isn't getting enough ego kibbles from OM - we know what happens next.

Might take a few years to show but that Leopard still has those spots whether you can see them or not.

I may have reached a point where I'd piss on him if he was on fire.... eventually!!

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 Caretaker1 (original poster member #42777) posted at 12:27 PM on Wednesday, April 9th, 2014

Attention for sure. It's a look at me and him and what we do on our time with our kids. I smile through it and say, that's great you girls did XYZ with mommy and her friend. She's brash and so is he as they go around town as soon to be husband and wife. Disney Dad sees his one kid on weekends and has no responsibility for daily life of parenting She has no responsibility for paying her debts, or bills and running a home, nor has the humbleness to see the impacts to all.

However, it will work out for these two. Water seeks it's own level. They both love Facebook and have 400 friends don't you know?

8 months in to her relationship she was letting me know she wants to get engaged. Great I said when you do, I'll meet the paramour. Just be a good step dad when you do see them, I say. Her and her family are out for blood and are bullies. Won't fade away gracefully.....I for one stand up to bullies. If I lose in court, I will look back and say I tried. They will gloat and say they won.

I'm worth more. It doesn't take away the pain and frustration of being part of this foolery. Her family also started the process of blending the families months after our separation and pending divorce. He is part of their family celebrations now. Girls are now in therapy as am I to understand my role in this and not letting this happen again. It is by far the most toxic thing I have experienced.

I'm surviving this. It just is draining both emotionally for loss of family and financially.

[This message edited by Caretaker1 at 6:32 AM, April 9th (Wednesday)]

posts: 234   ·   registered: Mar. 14th, 2014
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norabird ( member #42092) posted at 4:16 PM on Wednesday, April 9th, 2014

((((Caretaker1))))

Sit. Feast on your life.

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id 6753600
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nowiknow23 ( member #33226) posted at 3:37 AM on Thursday, April 10th, 2014

It is draining. I'm so sorry for all you and your girls are going through. Sending you strength, hon.

((((Caretaker))))

You can call me NIK

And never grow a wishbone, daughter, where your backbone ought to be.
― Sarah McMane

posts: 40250   ·   registered: Aug. 29th, 2011
id 6754353
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Jduff ( member #41988) posted at 4:19 PM on Thursday, April 10th, 2014

Here is the thing, if you learned something out of this entire experience and have made improvements on yourself and improved the relationship with your own children then you will reap the rewards later down the road. You're more likely to end up with a better 2nd marriage than her.

If the Ex hasn't done the same self improvements, she/he are doomed to repeat their mistakes. OM will be an ex as well down the road. The family that backs her up were either gaslighted into believing it was you who caused the D, or they are hiding shame/anger through their actions. How they act viciously upon you is what they want to act on the STBX but won't because she is family. You're an easier target for their shame and anger. OR, maybe that's who they really are, selfish and vindictive - then you know where she got that from.

Wait until she cheats on the 2nd husband.

The grass is always greener.... where the dogs are shitting.

-Soundgarden

posts: 2432   ·   registered: Jan. 9th, 2014   ·   location: Southwest
id 6754830
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yestopants ( member #41631) posted at 5:00 PM on Thursday, April 10th, 2014

(((Caretaker1))) sounds to me like you are more than surviving :) I'm glad to hear you are in counselling and so are your kids. Like Jduff said you will reap the rewards later. I like to believe that the hard work we put in now will be so worth it :) Me and mine are in con selling too :) and guess who isn't ???

Me: 37
2 amazing kids DS, DD

posts: 289   ·   registered: Dec. 12th, 2013
id 6754879
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