I just received a call from XWH. He hardly ever calls me. The only reason I picked up is because I thought he was calling to ask about our DD-- she stayed home from school today because she's been sick, and although she's better, she's staying home tomorrow as well.
So, I pick up, thinking that it's just a quick check in, and the conversation goes in a totally different direction. By the way, he never ONCE asked about DD and how she was feeling.
The reason he called is because my son is the "Student of the Week" in his class. Part of this honor includes bringing in pictures of family. DS #1 spoke to XWH about this previously, but they neglected to get any pictures together of his side. So, I'm realizing on Sunday night at the last minute that these pictures are due, so I pull out our photo albums and start scrambling for pictures. DS #1 informed me that his dad would be "mad" because there wouldn't be any pictures of CommandOwife and her two kids, but I said, "Well, it's the eleventh hour, and it's too late to get pictures from them. We'll have to make do."
DS #1 picked out five pictures of himself doing different things-- practicing his instrument, posing somewhere on vacation, etc. I picked out four pictures of XWH and his parents, brother, and SIL to make sure that XWH's family was represented. I picked out three pictures that involved me and my family. I thought that I did pretty well under the circumstances, and instead of being petty and leaving XWH out, I made sure that he and his family were well-represented.
So much for being nice. He calls to inform me that "he should have been contacted" so that he could send in pictures because "CommandOwife and her two kids are also an important part of DS #1's family, and they should be included." I told him that I sent in several pictures of his family, but he didn't care-- all he cared about was the fact that his soulmate schmoopie was left out, and in the future, I can call him at any time; he would gladly print out pictures and deliver them to school himself.
Again, not once does he ask about DD. I am so, so angry right now.
He decides that he's going to put me in my place because I left out his AP? He's going to make sure that every step is taken so that this doesn't happen again in the future?
How about the times when we REALLY need you? Do you offer to get popsicles from the store when I'm with a child who is throwing up? Do you send me an email and ask if I need you to pick up a prescription? No. During important times when our children could really use his assistance, he drops off the face of the earth. But my, my, my-- when he gets the chance to put on the big show-- LOOK AT OUR BRADY BUNCH FAMILY IN THESE PICTURES AND HOW HAPPY WE ARE-- he makes sure to reach out to me because he's pissed that he's missed an opportunity to show the world what a fabulous father he is and how well their blended family is working (not not not not... he has NO idea how my kids feeling about visiting him... he is delusional).
So, I was thinking of sending him this through email:
"The only reason I picked up the phone tonight when you called is because I thought you were concerned about DD and were checking in with me about her health. In the future, please restrict your contact with me about our children to matters that only directly affect them. DS #1 told you about the pictures ahead of time, and you didn't send any photos with him. I did the best I could in the limited time that I had, fully representing you and your family, and instead of thanking me for taking the time to do that, you lectured me on how your new family was not included. I have nothing to do with you and your new family, so please do not get me involved in those matters in the future."
Thoughts?