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Other woman is officially separated

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IslandGirl18 posted 4/8/2014 22:13 PM

I knew it was coming. It still made me sick though. My XWH was in false R with me and we are now divorced. It was official in January. Her custody and separation agreement was filed less than three weeks ago. So now they can be together in public. They can be a couple. He can bring her to his family and she can bring him to hers. They can be a new family together. I cannot get over how long this pain is lasting for me. This loss and emptiness. It's so vast. I really thought he loved me. There are pictures of her all over the internet. She's the president of a community organization, she wins awards, she has the appearance of a well-respected person. But people don't know what I know. She lied to everyone she knew and she was part of destroying me. And my XWH allowed that.

They made all these decisions and I am the one who is suffering.

It's so unfair.

Their work knows. No one cared. Didn't matter.

I don't think I will ever get married again. I know I will never trust again. And I know I will never allow myself to love like that again..

Rainbows posted 4/8/2014 23:45 PM

(((Islandgirl)))

I'm so sorry, I know the sting and it blows.

Just take it one day at a time and if that's too much, one hour at a time until it becomes bearable. It's ok to feel and grieve.

The thing I've learned is that no one can hide behind a facade for too long.

She may seem like a Debbie do-gooder to everyone now, but as soon as they start flaunting it, the truth will come out.

Eta: I'm sure more people pass negative judgements on them than you realize. I can't begin to tell you how often I've seen OW become a scapegoat and fodder for the gossip mill at work (I'm a corporate type).

Just because you aren't hearing about it doesn't mean it isn't happening. I mentioned in a post earlier I've noticed a lot of slut shaming of known OW in the office. It's always the first thing you hear about someone. It's just not acceptable to most people even if they don't freely express their opinions.

[This message edited by Rainbows at 11:54 PM, April 8th (Tuesday)]

h0peless posted 4/8/2014 23:48 PM

Look at the big picture. Think of the smug satisfaction you'll feel when one of them cheats on the other one. That'll be a belly laugh!

Caretaker1 posted 4/8/2014 23:53 PM

How about AP that one is not divorced and they are in public, blending families, and getting engaged. It's all so hurtful. Smug?

Focus on you. If no kids, maybe you can move and rebuild or find some space between you and the happy couple.

[This message edited by Caretaker1 at 11:59 PM, April 8th (Tuesday)]

RedWheelBarrow posted 4/9/2014 02:34 AM

I am sorry. I am in a similar boat. OW is quite "professional" and child-free and carefree and smile-y all over the internet with her fancy job and around all the most gorgeous people, etc. Oh, so respectable! They are counting the days that they can be *even more public* with their luurve.
I should get stronger and stop looking/caring. But it's hard to do.

((hugs))

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