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Newest Member: JulyLady (61478)

User Topic: So this past Wednesday..
♀ 34353
Member # 34353
Default  Posted: 8:18 AM, April 9th (Wednesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

we finished MC after 2 and a half years. We are finished because the Army is moving us. I cried because we have gotten so much out of it and the MC is the one thing I like about living here. He told us that we are better then we think we are, we can call on him anytime even after we move. He believes once we leave here we will be even better.( FWH had his ONS here when the Army sent him here for a school, then we had to move here)
I don't think we are going to do more MC unless things get bad as I don't want to break a new one in and start all over. I think we are ready.

Me: BS
Him: WS
Married since 1985
Parents to 2 adult sons and 3 of the cutest cats you have ever seen
D-day 8/6/11 Truth about ONS and 9/21/11 Truth about EA and 10/28/15 NEW dday.
Just surviving.

Posts: 1849 | Registered: Dec 2011 | From: midwest now.
♀ 35004
Member # 35004
Default  Posted: 10:57 AM, April 9th (Wednesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

2 years later and we're still going to MC. I know it has to end at some point, but I can understand how you'd like it to be on your own terms rather than because you're moving.

I wish you the best in moving forward on your own.

BS - 65
WH - 63
Married 37 years

D-Day 2/12/12
D-Day 6/1/16 Caught him back online early enough that no physical contact took place but still devastating. This sucks.

Posts: 1245 | Registered: Mar 2012
♂ 31240
Member # 31240
Default  Posted: 11:56 AM, April 9th (Wednesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

here's the thing - if things start going bad and you want help, don't wait. The earlier you address an issue, the easier it is to resolve it.

but maybe part of what you got out of MC is a set of tools to resolve issues yourselves.


fBH (me) - 66 on d-day, Married 43, together 45 on d-day, same sex ap
DDay - 12/22/2010
Recover'd and R'ed
Most of us know only our own experience. That's not enough data to support a general rule that D, or R, is right in every sitch.

Posts: 16799 | Registered: Feb 2011 | From: Illinois
♀ 41535
Member # 41535
Default  Posted: 5:55 PM, April 9th (Wednesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I think it's great you want to do it on your own. I feel the need to caution you with that, though because the primary reason seems to be the move. I found it's much more difficult to admit you need to go back than you think it might be. We stopped once before (after EA 1 that occurred during MC, that I didn't know about at the time) because our MC moved and we didn't want to break in another one. Within a month or two I was requesting to go back, but WS refused. And a year and a half later I had my first DDay from her second EA. I'm not going to claim it would have stopped it, because she wasn't "in" therapy with me, as it turned out. But we might have at least had a chance.

However, if you feel good about it I wish you the best and hope it works out great for you.

XWS: 40
BS: 40
DS: 7
9 year relationship
DDay #1: September 6, 2013 EA for 5 weeks August 2013 with TT
DDay #2: January 2, 2014 EA for 6 weeks summer 2011 with TT
"I am still learning." -Michelangelo

Posts: 967 | Registered: Dec 2013 | From: Midwest
Topic Posts: 4

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