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Newest Member: wonkeddev

Divorce/Separation :
and it feels so good...

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 strongerdaybyday (original poster member #40264) posted at 3:02 PM on Wednesday, April 9th, 2014

I recently moved back to the city I grew up - to be closer to my parents. S and most likely D has been really hard. The hardest decision I have ever made. I go from moments of relief to anxiety and panic. Anyway, I've felt about down about myself and myself esteem got stomped on after the Dday. But -- I have run into three ex-bf's (from high school - before I met H) and they've all said the same thing, "wow stronger you look amazing, you look great." and I know I shouldn't get my self esteem from someone and it comes from within (blah, blah, blah ) BUT DAMN it felt good. It was such an ego boost. I realized how I let my H hold me back. If I would want to wear my hair down or dress nice for work his attitude would be "which man are doing that for?" and I realized it was his own stupidity, low self esteem and fear that if he had an A I would too. I looked dumpy/frumpy for so long. Those 3 compliments made me realize how much of myself I let go of and let him control during the 10+ years we were together. I've come to the realization that S and D are not a mistake...it actually feels really good.

Me-BW Him - WH
Married 6 years, together 15 years
3 awesome and beautiful children
OC discovered on Dday - born in 2005
D-Day Summer 2013

working towards D...I can't pretend anymore

**If I edit I'm correcting a typo!**

posts: 509   ·   registered: Aug. 11th, 2013   ·   location: Canada
id 6753499
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norabird ( member #42092) posted at 4:01 PM on Wednesday, April 9th, 2014

I love this post! Good for you. I see nothing wrong with being glad that these men saw you and responded positively to your new energy. You get to control you now--hallelujah. The more time goes by, the more this awesome feeling will predominate.

Sit. Feast on your life.

posts: 4324   ·   registered: Jan. 16th, 2014   ·   location: NYC
id 6753582
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Pentup ( member #20563) posted at 4:32 PM on Wednesday, April 9th, 2014

Like

Me- BS
Him- FWS (I hope- F)

posts: 8410   ·   registered: Aug. 8th, 2008   ·   location: Not Oz
id 6753612
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nowiknow23 ( member #33226) posted at 4:40 PM on Wednesday, April 9th, 2014

Yay for feeling good!

You can call me NIK

And never grow a wishbone, daughter, where your backbone ought to be.
― Sarah McMane

posts: 40250   ·   registered: Aug. 29th, 2011
id 6753622
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