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Newest Member: Brokeninnm38 (61788)

User Topic: sometimes it's too hard alone
♀ 25041
Member # 25041
Default  Posted: 9:26 AM, April 9th (Wednesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I don't like being single today. 4 years of this aloneness. 4 years !!! I didn't ask to be unmarried in my 50s. I didn't expect to be alone this long. My exH dated the whole time we were married so I thought how hard can it be to find a partner? haha Only I'm laughing at my arrogance.

My friend assure me there's nothing wrong with me. "Give it time" they say. Of course, they're married. I remember when I was married I lacked understanding for singles. I assumed single was their choice. I have new appreciation for other people's journeys. I'm grateful for the lesson, my expanded compassion.

I appreciate myself. I am worthy of a whole healthy relationship. I'm a woman who handled my life falling apart and slowly I assembled a new life. Learned a lot. I can do this alone, but I don't want to be alone anymore.
Today I long for a partner.

I needed to release this from my brain. I'm hoping I'll stop dwelling on the empty place in my heart. Thanks for listening.

Posts: 1211 | Registered: Aug 2009
♂ 30221
Member # 30221
Default  Posted: 9:44 AM, April 9th (Wednesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

You are heard. And by so many that feel the same.

But also by those that have passed through the loneliness and have found a good life somewhere 'down the road'.

"When you are going through Hell, keep going"
Winston Churchill

"I never saw a wild thing sorry for itself. A bird will fall frozen dead from a bough without ever having felt sorry for itself." D. H. Lawrence

Her: WW/57 Me: BS/63 24yrs M
3 great kids, now 22, 20, 17 b,b,g
D-Day 8/14/08, D 1/13/11

Posts: 1164 | Registered: Nov 2010 | From: East Coast
♀ 41033
Member # 41033
Default  Posted: 10:24 AM, April 9th (Wednesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

((((sheila)))) I completely understand how you feel. I've been alone for a long time and most of the time I'm fine with it. I tell myself that in some ways I have it easier. I can make my own day to day choices without needing to run it past someone else.

But there are other times when it would be nice to have a partner again. Almost all of my friends are married and I often feel awkward, although it is not anything they do to make me feel that way. I just feel different. I wonder why I was forced down this road. So know you are not alone and that there are people who understand.

Posts: 900 | Registered: Oct 2013 | From: Illinois
♀ 22870
Member # 22870
Default  Posted: 10:44 AM, April 9th (Wednesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Right beside you, sister.

It's been 6 years for me. I am happy in my singleness, but would like a partner to be with.....sometimes.

Sometimes I like to have my "alone time". We're in a tough spot, but at least I'm in control of my own destiny.

You can stuff your sorries in a sack, mister. -George Costanza
There is a special place in hell for women who don't help other women. - Madeleine Albright

Posts: 9177 | Registered: Feb 2009 | From: Western PA
♀ 42092
Member # 42092
Default  Posted: 10:51 AM, April 9th (Wednesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage


It can be lonely, I agree. But some people who are married are lonely too, or have their own running struggles in their partnership. It's easy to feel that the grass is greener. Of course, I don't want to say that the values of intimacy and connection aren't something we should want--of course they can be wonderfully rewarding. But only if they're right. It's far better to keep being self-sufficient and wait to see whether someone comes into your life who will deserve you and be a good partner than to waste your energy now on wishing you had that.

I know it is easier said than done. I can tell you that it's obvious from your post that you would make some man very lucky and happy. For now, making yourself happy is no second choice at all. It doesn't have to mean you are never allowed to wish for companionship however. Just acknowledge that sadness, and try to move on past it and look at the bright side.

Sit. Feast on your life.

Posts: 4324 | Registered: Jan 2014 | From: NYC
Topic Posts: 5

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