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Confused after 4 years

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rugsatwork posted 4/9/2014 14:32 PM

We have been healing for the past 4.5 years. We have been doing pretty good as long as I do not mention, in any way, WH actions or anything about how a triger might make me feel today. We have jsut forgotten about it. I have not, but in our relationship day to day we have. So, after a coming back from a recent business trip, I look at my WH cell phone. I have not looked in a long, long time. So what do I see? A text to a male co-worker that he is "in the bar with Cari" Who is Cari? What is this all about? Well, I guess I must have asked in the wrong manner, in the wrong tone of voice, and wow did I get it. The explanation made sense, but this was turned around to make me the bad person. Where is the transprancy? The empathy? I am not sure I can continue any longer without it. And I just cannot shove it and put it away. So how do I get WH to have a human conversation 4.5 years later that helps me today? I am sick all over again.

RipsInMyChest posted 4/9/2014 14:50 PM

I am so sorry. ((((Rugs))))

That is not remorseful behavior and quite frankly seems suspicious. A fWH should not be in a bar with a female EVER again and should certainly not be defensive when asked about it.

I personally would at least 180...but after so much time and rug sweeping....maybe I would just file for D and see if H heard the wake-up call. So sorry you have not gotten what you need and are still in so much pain.

karmahappens posted 4/9/2014 15:15 PM

I am sorry, four years after dday and this is how he treats you?

I think you need to revisit MC and start to get to the bottom of why he feels he has the right to hang at a bar with anyone without you knowing...let alone a woman.

Big, Red, Flag

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