Cheating Hurt by Infidelity
Betrayal Wayward Donations lying



Find a Local Counselor

The Healing Library


Contact Us
In Association with
Infidelity -
- Forum Archives

like us on facebook
You are not logged in. Login here or register.
Newest Member: Saad (61538)

User Topic: Confused after 4 years
♀ 29057
Member # 29057
Default  Posted: 2:32 PM, April 9th (Wednesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

We have been healing for the past 4.5 years. We have been doing pretty good as long as I do not mention, in any way, WH actions or anything about how a triger might make me feel today. We have jsut forgotten about it. I have not, but in our relationship day to day we have. So, after a coming back from a recent business trip, I look at my WH cell phone. I have not looked in a long, long time. So what do I see? A text to a male co-worker that he is "in the bar with Cari" Who is Cari? What is this all about? Well, I guess I must have asked in the wrong manner, in the wrong tone of voice, and wow did I get it. The explanation made sense, but this was turned around to make me the bad person. Where is the transprancy? The empathy? I am not sure I can continue any longer without it. And I just cannot shove it and put it away. So how do I get WH to have a human conversation 4.5 years later that helps me today? I am sick all over again.

Posts: 269 | Registered: Jul 2010 | From: MN
♀ 41166
Member # 41166
Default  Posted: 2:50 PM, April 9th (Wednesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I am so sorry. ((((Rugs))))

That is not remorseful behavior and quite frankly seems suspicious. A fWH should not be in a bar with a female EVER again and should certainly not be defensive when asked about it.

I personally would at least 180...but after so much time and rug sweeping....maybe I would just file for D and see if H heard the wake-up call. So sorry you have not gotten what you need and are still in so much pain.

Me: BW 43 (39 at DDay 1)
FWH 43 (39 at DDay 1) (RibsInHerChest)
Together 23 yrs, M 20, 2 kids
DDay: 12/11/12 ONS with CW
Massive TT due to poly: 1/4/2015 full blown EA/3 week PA
Didn't use condom, I got chlamydia.

Posts: 882 | Registered: Oct 2013
♀ 35846
Member # 35846
Default  Posted: 3:15 PM, April 9th (Wednesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I am sorry, four years after dday and this is how he treats you?

I think you need to revisit MC and start to get to the bottom of why he feels he has the right to hang at a bar with anyone without you knowing...let alone a woman.

Big, Red, Flag

“And the day came when the risk to remain tight in a bud was more painful than the risk it took to blossom”
Anaïs Nin
Me: 45
Him: 47
Dday 8/2007
We have R'd

Posts: 4012 | Registered: Jun 2012 | From: Massachusetts
Topic Posts: 3

Return to Forum This Topic is Archived
© 2002 - 2017 All Rights Reserved.